Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I Will Never

As I was getting into my van today, I took a quick overview of its appearance. One word--disgusting. Every window, and I mean EVERY window, is covered in feet prints, hand prints and smears where someone licked the glass. As I stared at these windows I realized that I never, ever thought I would me the kind of mom who would drive around in a van full of kids who licked the windows. I. Never. Thought.

This led me to think about all the other things that I thought I would never do. Here's what I have come up with so far:
  • I never thought my phone number would be on the principal's speed dial.
  • I never thought that I would have a child who would come home from school with holes in her shirt sleeves because she decided to bite through them.
  • I never thought I would use bribery or threats to motivate my kids. But let's be honest, desperate times call for desperate measures.
  • I never thought my mother would be right when she told me, "paybacks can be painful."
  • I never thought I would have a child who would look at me and say, "you're boobs are so tiny."
  • I never thought after earning a college degree I would spend my time cleaning up after people. all. day. long.
  • I never thought that I would ever say, "because I said so, that's why!"
  • I never thought there would come a day when I would yell at my kids. I know. Crazy, but true.
  • I never thought that I would allow my child to dress like a Hobo and then take her out in public.
But, you know what? I also never thought that as I watched them step off the bus each day and run up the sidewalk, I would realize that they are my world. My lifelong, eternal world. Licked windows and all.


For your enjoyment, here is a link to the funniest blog post I have read in months. I laughed so hard I snorted. Just a little.

If Only I Had A Heart.....


Christy said...

I frequently tell my kids that they will regret the mess they are making in the car when they are teenagers and it becomes their car.

Their friends will say "ew, whats that brown stuff on seat?" and they'll have explain.

DeNae said...

Lisa, a million thanks for for the shout out!

I never thought I would still have to be so hands-on as a parent 22 years into the game. I've heard from both of my college kids at least twice just today, each having a little crisis that only mom could help them weather.

They never stop being your life, Lisa! (But, there are no more footprints on the windows of my car...)

Becky Leland said...

Never say Never!!!

Becky Leland said...

I LOVE your Christmas letter!!!

Where is your book?

Joy Hollingshaus said...

I have so many "I never thought..." I can't even remember them all now! We should have an "I never thought" party and see who can come up with the best "I never thought..."!