Sunday, March 29, 2009

Crawfish Boil

Some friends of ours had a crawfish boil last night. I guess you're not a real Texan until you've gobbled up some of these critters.

As I stared at these mini reptiles I wondered why someone ever considered scooping these things up outta the lake and then boilin' them in cajun spices. Throw in some potatoes and corn and you're set.

It's a lot of work to eat them crawfish. There is a fine art to cracking open the shells. The real Texans at the party had to demonstrate for us uneducated folk. Once you've got the shell off, all you're left with a piece of meat the size of a caterpillar. An anorexic one.

But, if you don't like crawfish, you can always settle for a hot dog.

Once everyone had cracked enough shells to get carpel tunnel, we watched the kids play tug of war. By this time of the night, my lips were on fire from all the cajun spices. It most definitely hampered my cheering.

We've cracked and we've eaten now. Does that make us Texans? I'm fixin' to think about it....

Friday, March 27, 2009

The Good Life

The girls made these sugar eggs with Andi, the Hawaiin Goddess. They're delightful. I was staring at them and the little chickies inside and it dawned on me that I think I want to be that wee little, pink chick. Wouldn't it be a great life to live in a house made of sugar? You could lick a wall at any given moment. Sounds rather heavenly.

This week I have reached a pinnacle with my mothering skills. I have a particular kindergartner that has been soooo naughty at school, that I have simply surrendered. I am unable to process how to handle this child--and the other two for that matter. So, as I looked at this sugar egg, I longed to live in there. I could hide away inside a sugar cave. It would be quiet and I could sit on green coconut grass. No one would whine, yell, ignore or talk back to me. How could they when their beaks are made from a pipe cleaner? Sounds pretty good, wanna join me? Maybe I can have a little village of sugar homes and I will rent them out to my most special friends. And don't worry, I won't tell anyone where you are. Or that you are licking the walls clean.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

A Mystery

For quite some time, I've been perplexed about something. It's a mystery that has simmered in my brain for at least a year or two. I just can't find an answer to my question, so I'm going to have to vocalize it: why are the people at Walmart so...Walmart? Seriously. I need to know because it's driving me crazy. Ca-Ra-Zee!

For starters, let me say that I shop at 'the Walmart'. I don't shop there because I want to. I shop there because of the prices. I have many friends who shop there also and they are (relatively) normal. With that said, let me just point out a few of the things I have noticed--

Number 1--Until I started shopping at Walmart, I had never, I repeat never, seen a grown man wear denim overalls without a shirt. And don't you even think this was a one time sighting. I had to stop my cart and shield my eyes. I'm not kidding!

Number 2--80% of the checkers are missing teeth. And not just one. Those who do have all of their dental work are sporting a few gold caps. Why is that? Is there a check box on the employment form that asks for a listing of the teeth that are still imbedded in your mouth? I'm thinkin' that if you check that box you are guaranteed a job. For reals.

Number 3--Where exactly do the people who shop there come from? Granted, I'm there. Yes, I know. And roughly 28 other people in the store look normal. And they've combed their hair. Everyone else in the store is probably looking at me thinking, 'why in the who-haw do your clothes match'?

It doesn't matter what Walmart you go to or in which state. The mystery still remains. I walk in, and the same people are there. Maybe they're following me. Even the checkers. Could be possible. But yet, I walk into Target and it feels like I've entered heaven. I feel at peace. And I look around, and everyone is wearing a shirt and has all of their teeth. Maybe that's the answer to my mystery. Shopping should only be done at Target. It's a possibility....

Saturday, March 21, 2009

World Peace

Don't you think that the world would be a better place if everyone had a mother who was willing to give you polka-dot toenails? Think about it. Can you be mean and evil while sporting stylish toes? Highly unlikely. I may just have to take my painting skills across the lands to help promote world peace one fashion statement at a time.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

They're Talkin' Like Texans!

I love the way people talk here. Especially the women. And more especially, the women who grew up here. I really luuuvvv them. They just ooze when they talk. The first time the lady at the toll booth told me, "May the Lord bless your day", I almost squeezed her. She was a pretty big gal, lots to squish. Then there are the Texas moms who call their kids 'baby'--said with Texas flair. I've even walked into a room and had a friend say, "hey mama!" Again, said like a Texan. I've tried saying a few things, whispered to myself of course, but I just look like a type A, bossy mom. So totally far from the truth.

Lately, I've noticed that my girls are talking more and more like the natives. "Yes mam" has to be my ALL TIME favorite words the girls have picked up. They say it at school, and they love saying it so much that they say it at home too. Now when I yell at them (in my most heavenly voice), they just look at me once I'm finished and reply, "yes mam". That's what I'm talkin' about! If you don't already live in Texas, you should move here. Just for that.

Sometimes the girls will slip in a "ya'll". Sam actually uses it a lot. I have yet to have the courage to bust out with it. I don't ooze when I talk like the Texas moms. There is no slight drawl to my words, so I don't feel worthy of the "ya'll". The other night Makell and Sam were wrestling on the kitchen floor, one was kidney punching the other. As I stepped around them I heard Sam exclaim, "Get 'r done!" That's when I stopped short. That one gave me pause. I realized that you really live in Texas when your kids start saying "Get 'r done". Maybe in the future I'll have enough Texas in my blood to throw a 'fixin' into a conversation. Who knows, I may just start calling my girls, "baby"....or, maybe not.

Git 'R Done.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Addie Hearts George

Yesterday Addie started a campaign to teach the lesson for family home evening. As soon as I agreed, she gave me a list of supplies to buy for her. So tonight, we made George Washington's log cabin out of stick pretzels. It was a glue fest. She could not have been more excited.

As we all glued and colored (and she told us we were all doing it wrong), she told us endless tidbits about old George: his axe was red and he cut down a tree, "One time when they didn't have food, George Washington killed a turkey, but then he cried and he never, never killed a turkey again. They cut that turkey in half and ate it." George had brown hair, and "they didn't have any bricks, so they had to use trees to build their houses."

Addie's rendering--at close inspection, George isn't wearing a shirt. Maybe he was hot and sweaty after killing the turkey:

Sam made George look like a stick and made sure to point out that he has fake teeth:

Makell just kept on gluein'. She glued right over all the windows, the door and the sidewalk. She did tell us that she ate several pretzels covered in glue and it was "no big deal":

Thanks for a great family home evening George. Your log cabin was tasty.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Spring Break- Day 5

We made it to the end of the week and everyone still has all their limbs. What a success. Even the weather has been frightful the last two days with constant rain. That means constant kids in the house. Oh well, at least I gained the feeling back in my arms so that I could finish my table...

Then tonight I ran away from home. Not too far though. Just to a 'Time Out For Women' seminar. But, our first stop was the Cheesecake Factory. I am always way more primed to feel the spirit when I'm full of cheesecake. You should try it. I guarantee you'll agree. Maybe they should put cheesecake bites on the sacrament trays. Just a thought.

The keynote speakers where Sheri Dew and Wendy Watson. Phenomenal women. Rock stars, in my opinion. We were taught and edified. We were also challenged to be the women the Lord knows we are. We were directed that the turmoil in the world is not a surprise to the Lord, He has always known what things would be like now. And He has sent us here at THIS time to be valiant mothers and righteous women. To stand tall, to stand strong and to raise righteous children. Perfectly spoken and delivered right to the heart.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Spring Break- Day 3

The girls were playing with friends today, so I thought I would tackle a wee little project:

I started sanding this morning. I had to remove 4, oh yes, count 'em- 4, coats of paint. It only took 4 hours. 4 hours!! My project hit a slight blip when Addie asked if she could help sand, so I handed the electric sander right over. After about a minute, she leaned her head down by the sander and her hair sucked right up into the engine. Pulled it straight outta her head and killed the sander all at once. It shocked her so much it made her stop talking. That's quite a big deal, you know. I had to borrow a friend's sander after that. I promised not to let Addie use it.

I'll eventually paint the table black. But first, I have to regain the feeling in my arms. I typed this blog post with my nose. I'm talented like that.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Spring Break- Day 2

Blue Bell Ice Cream tour. Definitely worth the hour drive for the free ice cream! We followed it up with a picnic in the park. Please don't hate us, it's 85 degrees here with a slight breeze and blue skies. Gor-Ge-Ous.

Then, we stopped along the highway to take pictures in the blue bonnets. This is the Texas state flower, and as Addie told us last week, "there are these one flowers, that are blue, and they have lots of leafus, and they are a part of our Texas. If you pick 'em, the police give you a ticket. Not your mom...you."

Uh, does Makell look remotely interested in taking a picture? Maybe she is too full of ice cream.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Spring Break- Day 1

Rollerskating with friends. It lasts a good couple of hours, zaps their energy and the kids get to watch the adults boogy down when Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' is played. An afternoon well spent.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Weekend Revamp

This weekend was spent painting and sewing. We revamped Sam's room with one gallon of paint and a few yards of fabric from Hobby Lobby. I need a nap.

I had 2 large framed prints that I was loathe to use anywhere in the house. They have just been sitting in the corner of my room. So, I turned them into cork boards. This is before:

I took out the guts of the frame, covered foam board with this crazy cute fabric, and then reinserted it all back into the frame. Whalaa:

Sam requested pink, and pink is what she got:

I'm gunna rest up now. The spring break time clock starts tomorrow. Wish me luck....

Friday, March 6, 2009

I Wonder...

Speaking along the lines of my previous post--I have noticed lately that there are actually mothers that exist who relish when their children are out of school. I know, I know, say it ain't so, but it's true. In the past I had heard rumors that these kinds of mothers existed, but I thought it was just an urban legend. Or, that they had become extinct. Like the dinosaurs. But recently I have heard a few moms say that they are excited for spring break. For reals?

This newly discovered phenomenon has made me wonder....why am I this way, and they are that way? Am I normal (ahem, relatively speaking), or are they? Maybe I'm the unusual mother who jumps up and down with glee when they get on the bus. Or, maybe not. I mean, I love my kids and I like to have them around me. While they're sleeping. And they're silent. But then they just wake up and commence the contest of who can annoy me the most.

The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that 'those' mothers have calm and obedient children. That is why they don't mind when they're home. I, on the other hand, have children who require me to tell the babysitter, "Watch your back". And I have children who bring the tetherball inside the house and tie it from the second-story banister and proceed to play. Oh, and I have children who ask questions like, "When you are having a baby and pushing it out of your bottom, can you use the restroom?" Ya, I don't think that 'those' mothers have 'these' kinds of kids.

Monday, or technically today, is the beginning of our spring break. I've decided its kinda like taking all your kids grocery shopping--you know before you even start that bad things are going to happen, but you dive right in anyway. So, this next week I'm going to hold my breath and see if I can channel myself into one of 'those' mothers. Before you know it, I'll be crying tears of sadness that they have to return to school. Either that, or they will have killed me.

Thursday, March 5, 2009


I had a stunning revelation today....

Summer Break begins in 13 Weeks!!

lamaze breathing, lamaze breathing....

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

True Love?

So, I heard that there was drama on The Bachelor last night. Serious drama. Riveting drama. I heard this news through the grapevine--or from Todd. Yup, from Todd. He watches the drama, I use my intellect and read a book. I used to watch, but gave it up a few seasons back. I lost my testimony of Bachelor love. True love just never lasted for the final rose couple, so I am no longer a true believer. Besides, everyone knows that you can only find your soulmate on Survivor or Who Wants To Marry My Dad. Why even waste your time with all the girl bickering and tanning on The Bachelor?

I had a vague recollection that the show was on last night. Again, I was using my intellect to read...as I walked through the family room I stopped to notice that Todd and all 3 girls were huddled around the TV and riveted with the Bachelor action. I stared at Todd and asked, "Are you seriously letting them watch this?" His reply (without removing his eyes from the TV), "Oh ya, they love it!" Uh-huh.

This morning Todd called me so that he could unfold all the drama that happened in After The Rose. Crazy upset I guess. I had to calm him down and remind him that The Bachelor isn't true love, it's just pretend, like Tinkerbell.

In case you missed the show, I've got it recorded. But, you'll have to ask Todd to hold your hand and watch it with you. I'll be using my intellect while I watch America's Next Top Model.

Monday, March 2, 2009

More Cousins!

This weekend my brother Kirk and his family flew in from Denver. My kids literally almost exploded from excitement. I, on the other hand, spent all my energy trying to persuade my brother that we were NOT going canoeing in the neighborhood lake. He even tried to get all the adults to play Twister, but I stood my ground. I don't bend my standards for anyone. Ever.

Here are a few highlights....

Kennedy and Kellie riding the coaster
This is Campbell. She is a mini tornado.
She doesn't walk-she runs.
She doesn't talk-she yells.
So. Dang. Adorable!

Addie learned that if you hold your head under the hand dryer, it can tie your hair in knots.

Have I ever mentioned that genius runs in my family? My brother quickly figured out how to station the kids at each hole to whack each mole and gain the maximum amount of tickets. I don't know who enjoyed it more, him or the kids.

Cousins that swing together, stay together.