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Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Zoloft Makes The World Go Round

Everyone should be medicated. It's my mantra. And all those people who think--no, they KNOW--they don't need to be medicated....you need it the most. Zoloft is for everyone. An equal opportunity employer. I think they should put it in the water. Just think what could happen if we medicated the terrorists. We don't have to torture them, just Zoloft them.

Today, Todd came home to tell me a story that fortifies my mantra. Todd works with Mary. Mary has a parrot. The parrot is afraid of thunder. The sound makes him pull his feathers out. Poor thing only has a strip of feathers running down his back. Everywhere else he has plucked clean. So, what does Mary do for her anxious parrot? She medicates him. Oh yes, the parrot takes Zoloft. Did you hear that last part? THE PARROT TAKES ZOLOFT!! As I type this I realize that I need to suggest to Mary that she also get him some psychological counseling. It always helps to self-talk through these kinds of things.

We all have times when we feel like the paranoid parrot. You know you do. When I hear my kids yell, "Mommmmm!", I immediately start to pull my feathers out. I know someone (no names here, but we sleep together) who gets anywhere near a bee, and he screams so hard that his feathers just fall right out. Oh, and then there is this other person (we call her 'the favorite') who plucks feathers out at a feverish pace if she is forced to chew gum. See...we all need to be medicated. Maybe we can get a bundle deal with the parrot when he goes to counseling. I definitely think I'm on to something here....

5 comments :

Becky Leland said...

Lisa, Do you know just how comical you are?

I guess everyone has a zoloft moment - mine would be if I was really close to a snake.

I still think you should write a book.

Hope everyone is well, love y'all!

Straight Fancy said...

Can I get it in bulk with one easy co-pay? Just when I thought my life was bliss, I'm realizing it could be even better! How do I get Wade to take it w/out him knowing?

The Zoo Keeper-ette said...

Who has feathers left??!!?? Mine are LONG gone!! And by golly, I would LOVE to be able to get a Rx for zoloft! LOVE THE STUFF!! Had it after Porter, but am just too embarassed to go to the stinkin doctor. So I post it in a comment on a blog- go figure! Anyway, I am SURE that you are on to something- I know it would do wonders for my house (meaning me), and I think it would could bring on world peace!! I'm with you!

The Kikuchi's said...

Gum is probably the last thing I need counseling for! I think we should start with Puff and Clowns!

Zoloft Prescription Medication said...

My name is Steven Martin and i would like to show you my personal experience with Zoloft.

I am 35 years old. Have been on Zocor for 7 months now. This med did clear up the PPD, but weaning off of it has been absolute HELL. I got/am still getting the "zaps" that so many others talk about. Had I known it would be like this, I would have requested a different med. I will NEVER take this med again under any circumstances!

I have experienced some of these side effects -
Weight loss, upset stomach

I hope this information will be useful to others,
Steven Martin