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Friday, August 22, 2008

1 Year

Several years ago, I was in a class where the speaker asked the question, "What is your favorite childhood memory?" This is mine:

This rusted wheelbarrow means more to me than cupcakes or cute shoes. My dad used it when we were growing up. When we first moved to Utah, he had to clear all the rocks from our front yard so that he could plant grass. He would pile the rocks in this wheelbarrow and then walk them down to the end of the subdivision to dump them. He would let me ride on the top of the rocks. It was a long walk. On the return trip, I would ride in the empty wheelbarrow. That's my favorite childhood memory. My dad, me and this green wheelbarrow, on a long walk together.

One year ago today, at 9:45 am, my world changed forever. Changed directions. Tilted off its axis. My dad had to go, and we had to watch him leave. Memories that are so vivid they feel like they will swallow me. I held his hand and watched him take his last breath. This giant of a man who carried me in the wheelbarrow, who called me everyday and was my best friend. In that moment, the deepest part of me went quiet. A sadness settled into that space and I imagine that it will always remain.

Life seems to take you on a path that you never intended to walk. Some of the experiences along the way add a heavy weight to the journey. There are days and even moments when, I just don't like the journey anymore. But I keep walking. Every mile or so, the weight starts to feel just a bit lighter, and then I realize......I am being carried in a wheelbarrow.

12 comments :

Tillia said...

I am thinking about you and your family, I love you all!

Becky Leland said...

Lisa, Your comments are so sweet and heartfelt. I know you and your family are feeling many emotions. I am thinking of y'all and Evan too.

I love y'all!

I am glad that Kirk is coming for a few days!

penny said...

I'm speechless, but in a beautiful and heartfelt way.

The Zoo Keeper-ette said...

Lisa,
We love you and your dear family! Please let everyone know that we are thinking of you all at this time! May the load get lighter each day and may the rides happen more often!!
Sincerely,
Candy

Straight Fancy said...

You are stronger than you realize and such an inspiration to all. Love you!

Bethie said...

Some people push handcarts and some push wheelbarrows. I love you Lisa with all of my heart and I'm pushing the wheelbarrow with you today.

rackle4 said...

What a beautiful tribute to your dad! We are thinking of you today and always!!

Stacie Cooper said...

Lesa your words are beautiful and that is such a wonder memory. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. We love you!

Quelly said...

Loves

Electrawoman said...

i miss your dad alot i remember when i was little asking why he was fat and he just laughed i loved to hear his laugh when your mom was here last week i thought of him alot -Becki-

Amy Bell said...

I have thought a lot about you today. You are such a strong example for so many. We are lucky to have you in our lives (even if it isn't in the same town). -Amy

Edwin and Rebecca said...

Lisa,
You really need to be a writer, it's beautiful and heartfelt. We miss your Dad as well.
rebecca