A New Job

My last child will be starting school in 11 days. In Texas, Kindergarten is ALL DAY (I type this with glee)! What to do with myself? Other than skip through the streets, I think I might like a job. Just a little one, with convenient hours. Somewhere I can wear cute clothes and lipgloss. I have pondered a few options, and this is what I have come up with so far:

• Hot Dog On A Stick. Its located in the mall-nice bonus. You can build your upper body strength while you punch away at making lemonade. And, I have a serious affection for the corn dog. My biggest deterent is the shorts. The outfits do look like a clown gone wrong, but I simply can't wear shorts. My legs are frighteningly white. Shockingly so. You wouldn't be able to tell where the yellow stripe ends and my leg begins.
• Target. I'm there anyway, might as well get paid. Biggest deterent here-the discount is only 10%....so I think I might resort to stealing stuff. What do you expect with only a 10% discount?!
• McDonalds. I have a major love affair with all things served at this fine establishment. But, the employees have to wear those ugly visors. Touching my hair is simply not permitted.
• A writer for Newsweek. I read this magazine, and I think they could use my perspective. But, I have a brother who rants that this magazine is only for liberal heathens. I think if I worked for them, he would kidnap me and hide me in a cellar until I promised to quit.
• A 'Sympathizer'. You know how you drive down the street and see a neon sign that reads, 'Psychic'? Well, my sign would read, 'Sympathizer'. I would have a lovely, cozy office with lots of cupcakes and hot chocolate. You could take a seat and, how shall I put this....whine...about your life. Lay it on me. Tell me how you really feel about your children. Tell me your frustrations, I'll understand. I'll whine with you. Then we will eat a cupcake together and you'll feel better.

If you have any thoughts on the perfect job for me, feel free to pass them along. For now, I think that Sympathizer is at the top of the list. Within the next week I'm going to look for office space...and a neon sign.