You guys. I'm a worrier. Did you know? An incessant worrier. And I'm married to someone who is of the "just don't think about it" variety. It's irritating. In an adorable, married foreves sort of way.
You wanna know what else? I generally don't ever talk about my worries. To anyone. So, I'm an internal worrier. My sister thinks my internalizing is causing all my pain issues. Every time she brings it up I visualize choking her, and it makes me feel all sorts of better.
I feel like this Friday is a good day to self talk my worries to the internet. How about I give you some of mine, and you can give me some of yours. It will be a Worry Fest. Instead of praying together, we can worry together. There's strength in numbers. For really reals.
1. I cleaned my closet this week. I know that sounds so ordinary. But I'm not kidding when I tell you that I lost part of my soul in the process. It was grueling.
Here's where it gets weird... My dream job is to do this for other people. And to decorate too. So I can't figure out why this whole process nearly sucked the life out of me. Maybe my own crap is just too much to handle. Maybe I only like other people's crap. I think that makes me a head case.
2. Child #1 is working on the college applications. The other day she was showing me the checklist of what she still needs to do. I almost threw up. Honestly. I kept looking at her and thinking, "This time next year you won't be here." And I wanted to weep. Big, huge tears.
Because, here's the thing. They get to this age and you like them. She has become my friend. Why on earth would I want her to leave for college? It's like a cruel trick. I'm trying to get over it. Really, I am.
3. I didn't vote this week. That makes me a terrible citizen. The worst part? I don't even care.
4. My parenting skills are on the down-slide. This is really nothing new, just something that's blaringly apparent at times. Like last night. When I'm having a conversation with one of the teenagers. And I realize that I just want to give in because I know this topic makes her feel bad. I just want to take all the rules and consequences back. But duh, that's not how life works. Even if I want it to.
5. I really don't like daylight savings time. Like, really, really.
6. I miss my dad. Like, so much. I wish I could call him on the phone. Wishing is a really painful endeavor sometimes. If you have a dad that's only a phone call away, call him. Today. And count your blessings.
7. I have an unhealthy obsession with People magazine. My current subscription just ran out and now I feel like there is no reason to keep on living. What could there possibly be to look forward to if that booklet doesn't arrive in the mail every week?
8. I discovered last week that Child #1 doesn't know how to make scrambled eggs. What?! How have I not taught her this skill? She's going to starve in college.
That's it. Just for today. Maybe.
Lay your worries on me. Come on, we're in this together.