Word

Why does January always feel like a fresh start? It comes with a rush to make changes and set goals. But, why January? Why not April? It doesn't make much sense, really. New year, new plans? Maybe it's something like that.

I'm not a 'Resolutions' type of person. I think they just set you up to feel like a failure. I already have enough of that in my life, thank you very much. So, I've become more of a 'Focus for the year' type person. Something to nudge me in the right direction.

Around the web-world, 'Word of the Year' is all the rage. I'm actually quite a fan of the One Word. I've just never officially picked one to focus on for 365 days. But this year, I'm going to live on the edge and declare a word. For me, it feels rather bold.

Not very fancy, right? I actually just stood in my kitchen and drew this on a piece of paper. Then I stared at it for a couple of days. Just to make sure this was the word I need. Not the word I want. Not the word that impresses anyone. Just the word I need.

I'm a Type A, 5-steps-ahead thinker. I tend to rush, to schedule, to hurry. I am rarely Here. Present. In the moment. Even when I'm sitting, I'm worried about something else that isn't getting done. I load myself down with guilt over all I should be doing.

At this stage in my life, I have a daughter who is a year and a half away from leaving home for college. One in the midst of high school and another that is about to step away from elementary school. Time is passing.

I want to be Here. Not just physically, but with my whole soul. I want to find a way to be Still. A whole-heart kind of Still. To slow it all down and breath in this moment. To look, right here, right now and truly See the blessings standing before me. Big and small. Trials and joy. I want to be Here.

I think I'm in for a bit of a struggle. An internal one.
The best kinds of changes always are.

What about you?
Do you have a word?