My favorite it when women say, "Motherhood is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me." Ah, really? Seriously. Reeeaallllyyy? Because, don't get me wrong, I love being a mom. I adore my kids. But, the greatest thing to ever happen to you? Be real.
These women obviously haven't been to Target and found those little red clearance stickers. When I find one of those, and it reads $4.98, I want to weep with reverence. Motherhood can't compare to that kind of joy. Sure, it has it's own kind of fantastic-ness, but not the clearance sticker kind. And don't even get me started on marshmallow Peeps. That, my friends, might be one of the greatest things to happen in the whole wide world. For reals.
My realistic wired brain tends to shun making goals. I'm just not a fan of them. I feel like they just set you up for failure. So I never make them. Well, that's not true. I have the same goal every year. Here it is: Floss more than I did last year. To be a success in 2014, I need to floss 3 times. I think I see a gold star in my future.
This last week, all my anti-goal-making thoughts have started to dissolve. I have no idea why. I've felt this need to write down some things that I really HOPE to accomplish this year. Maybe they aren't so much goals as they are a list of all the stuff I've put off for so long. Or, maybe I'm just getting old and tired and I need this list to give me some point of direction.
Here we go:
1. Paint my kitchen table and chairs.
I've wanted to do this for the last 5 years. This table is the first piece of furniture The Husband and I bought after we got married. It has fork jabs all over it, nail polish and paint stains. The varnish has worn off in some places and Child #2 has written her name in several locations on the under sides.
It needs a make-over. And it needs to happen this year.
2. Clean all the blinds and windows in my house.
I've lived here for 6 years. I've never, not once, cleaned the blinds. I hate it and just can't bring myself to do it. The dust covering them is like a second skin by now. It's just ridiculous.
3. Buy a pair of yoga pants. And actually wear them.
Yoga pants are lounge-wear. I don't lounge. Ever.
This year I might give it a try.
4. Re-organize my closet.
This task is huge. And it needs to happen. It makes me tired just thinking about it.
5. Own a full set of dinner plates.
When Child #3 was born, I simplified my life by using paper plates for all meals. That child is now 11. We still use paper plates. We own no others. Well, that's not entirely true. A couple of years ago, Child #3 asked if we could buy "some of those round, hard things people eat on". My cousin bought her 4 green plates from IKEA. Those are the only plates I own. Truly.
I need to be more of a grown up and own some dishes. Maybe.
6. Convince my children they like me.
Bribery and physical force may be used.
This one is more of a dream, really. But, I figure I might as well give it a try.
7. Get a job doing something I love.
Decorating and writing. How on earth do you find a job doing that?
This one feels near impossible.
This list feels long and hard. Especially to a realistic, non-goal-setting girl. I don't even have a plan in place to accomplish any of it. That just feels like too much work. I may just need to stick with the flossing.