Things I've Had To Explain

Have you ever had moments where you wonder how your kids would score on an IQ test? I generally think that the people I gave birth to are inherently smart, considering I'm their mother. But then, reality surfaces and I'm surprised at the basic lessons they have yet to grasp. This week's highlights:

Child #2 needed an in-depth discussion (from my sister) that cartoons are not real. She was geniunely shocked that Dora The Explorer wasn't a real, live person. For some reason, she knew that SpongeBob wasn't real because, "Duh. He's a sponge!" But she was sure that Dora and Phineas and Ferb were living real lives outside of the TV screen. Yes, my pride has blossomed.

***

For the 14th time I had to explain that you need to change your underwear Every. Single. Day. Even if you think it's stupid, it still needs to be done.

***

The ages listed on the Play Dough box are definitely not 12 and 14. For reals.

***

Contrary to belief, I am not your servant. I know you are capable of getting your own glass of water while you are STANDING BY THE FRIDGE ALREADY! Oh, and while we're at it, you're perfectly able to throw away your popsicle wrappers, find something (Anything!) to do other than stand by me, and pick up your wet swimsuit you left on the family room floor.


Amen.