Chain Of Command

The tooth fairy system at our house has gone haywire. Somehow the chain of command has been switched. In the olden days, the child left the tooth and was sweetly excited to receive a teeny weeny quarter the next morning. Here at the circus, where all things run crazy, the children have started commanding the tooth fairy to leave her money in the kitchen. Oh yes, in the kitchen, because they are too dang lazy to walk their tooth upstairs to their room. Oh, like maybe as they are walking up to go to bed. Crazy thought. That tooth is so heavy its just too hard to carry. So, my kids now let the fairy know to leave the money at the table and go.

The first note was left a couple of weeks ago by Addie. Remember, she's afraid of the fairy and doesn't want him (yes, she thinks the fairy is male) anywhere near her room...so she left him a note:

I'm not positive of the exact wording, but I know that she mentions she really likes the tooth fairy, she wants to keep her tooth and "please leave me some money". Well, at least she kindly asked for her cash....

Makell yanked her tooth out during class the other day. She decided that she too would rather receive her allotment in the kitchen as well:

Again, witness the kind manners when commanding that the money be left downstairs. How has the tooth fairy turned into an ATM? Curious. I think I might try leaving notes for Todd, "so please give me the money! thank you a lot." I'll let you know how it goes. If I'm successful, I'm moving on to Nana. She loves notes. Especially those taped with a tooth at the top.

Self Portrait

She looks so much like Todd. Just amazing.

25

I've heard that the '25 Random Things' is all the craze on Facebook. I myself have yet to ever log onto Facebook for fear of becoming addicted to finding new friends. Todd scours Facebook every day. He says he just takes a 5 minute look, but after he sent me a muffin recipe he found in his Facebook travels, I'm thinkin' he spends a few minutes more than that.

A writer for the Houston newspaper even wrote 25 random things about our city. Each item talked about how darn random Houston is. And the fact that EVERY time you decide to drive on the freeway, all 5 million Houston residents decide to do the same thing.

I've wondered if I even know 25 random things about myself. Or more importantly, that I haven't already told everyone. So, I thought I would give it a shot:

1. My eyes are getting wrinkly. It bugs me.
2. I think a law should be created to ban the use of fake flowers outside in the yard. Do. Not. Do. It. Ever....Even at Christmas.
3. Camping makes me cry.
4. I've been to Singapore, China, Korea and Thailand. I went when I was 13. This was the first and only time in my life that I saw a chicken plucked by an elderly woman with no teeth.
5. I think that anyone who can not remove the Christmas lights from their house by February is mentally challenged.
6. I have a fear that my kids will get kicked out of school.
7. I have no patience. For anything. Shocking I know, but true nonetheless.
8. I lay in bed at night and search my brain for a way to have a limosine window installed in my van.
9. I think that children with learning disABILITIES are often misunderstood and underestimated. Even by their parents.
10. There is a small little nook in my heart that can only be filled by really, really cute shoes. Sometimes cupcakes work too.
11. I think that Todd was sent from heaven just for me. Poor guy.
12. I live by my self-proclaimed motto: "If they don't kill me today, they will try again tomorrow."
13. Eating the same dessert two nights in a row is a sin.
14. When I was a Cougarette at BYU, my padded bra was so huge that my parents didn't recognize me.
15. If you are a person who doesn't complain about your kids, we simply can't be friends.
16. I miss my Utah friends and the mountains.
17. When I was in high school, I think I lied once to my parents. Ok, maybe twice.
18. I don't have enough faith. I have prayed for Heavenly Father to give me more money and it hasn't worked.
19. Sometimes when Todd is singing, I want to choke him. Gently of course, so it won't leave a mark.
20. I would like to speak portuguese.
21. My biggest secret--I adore my children. Lots.
22. I don't think there is anything wrong with yelling. Its a talent to be perfected. Like playing the piano.
23. I stop the microwave on an even number.
24. I'm not as uptight as I appear. For reals.
25. I wish I owned a taser.

Your turn.

Girl Scouts or Heavenly Messengers?

They show up at your door and present you with cookies. The only thing they ask for in exchange is money. And ya know, you just can't put a monetary value on a Thin Mint. You just can't.

Other than the first day of school, this is my next favorite day. But don't worry, these boxes should last me a couple of days....I hope.

Thank Me Later

I stole--ahem, I mean, copied--this recipe from Paula Deen. It's a frozen banana split. Oh. my. nirvana. I think if you bit into Brad Pitt, this is what he would taste like. Just a guess.


Line a 9x13 pan with tin foil.
Cover surface with ice cream sandwiches:



Cut up 5 or 6 bananas and layer on top:



Drizzle 1 jar of caramel ice cream topping over bananas.
Then drizzle 1 jar of hot fudge ice cream topping. (I microwaved my jar just a bit so that it would pour easily.)
Spread half a bag of toffee bits (found next to the chocolate chips) on top:



Top with another layer of ice cream sandwiches:



Frost with a small tub of cool whip.
Sprinkle on remaining toffee bits:

Freeze.
Remove from freezer about 20 min. before serving, just to soften.
Hold onto tin foil and remove from pan. Cut.

Cousin Love

Tyler (my brother), Vicki and the girls came to visit over the weekend. We had crazy fun. They live in Chicago, so our Houston weather was quite a reprieve. Cousins played, adults held babies, and we all sat around and talked. Perfect.

Maya, Addie, Kate
If they got any cuter I could eat them.

We went to a safari park and fed animals from our car.
This is Todd feeding a Texas Longhorn.

Tyler and his girls feeding the camels.
Right before this, Tyler had a showdown with a buffalo who wanted his bucket of food. He held on with all his might and beat the 1 ton hairy animal. I stand in awe.

My sister Emily's twins.
Tyler and Vicki's baby Tess.
These 3 were born just 2 days apart. Hard to tell, ain't it?
Vicky calls them rare, medium and well done.
And yes, Tess' hair is even more fantastic in person!

Cousin Love

If You Build It They Will Come

My mom decided that the grandkids deserved a slammin' swingset. She said that my dad would buy one for them, and she wanted to do it for him. Actually, if they asked for Disneyland to be built in the backyard, he would have made a phone call to take care of that too.

I tried to convince my mom that the grandkids really wanted a Target in the backyard. Well, truth be told, I think its more of a need than a want. She paid no heed to my pleadings. That dern Nana never listens to me. She somehow only listens to all the little girls running around this place.



This swingset has already brought hours of joy. I'm still holding out for MY Target, uh, I mean the Target for the grandkids.

Uh....Pathetic?

The other night my mom and I were rocking and feeding babies. While doing so, this is what we were watching:

The Westminster Dog Show. We were riveted. For 45 minutes we watched the dogs prance. Seriously people, riveted. I'm not sure how or why we started watching, but it didn't take long for us to really dive into the action. Soon we were commenting to each other, "his fur looks like a brillo pad"....."look at all his hair, it looks like a skirt"......"that definitely does not look like a well-bred dog, that is just DNA gone wrong". We even cheered when the winner was announced. His name is Stump. He came out of retirement just for the show. His big fluffy ears blow in the wind when he runs, kinda like a supermodel running on a beach.

I think I'm going to set my DVR to record this dog show every year. You just can't find this kind of quality TV anymore. We even got a behind-the-scene look at the doggie spa. Total pampering. The dog show even provides mini treadmills for the pooches to get some exercise. Have you ever seen a chihuahua on a treadmill? I have. Again I repeat, riveted.

Watching the dog show made me think about creating an international children's show. Only the well-bred kids would qualify to enter. Each parent would tie a leash to their child's wrist and run down the piece of astroturf to be judged. Kids would compete in categories, you know, just to be fair. So far I've come up with these: chubby kids, loud kids, picky eater kids, sassy kids, quiet kids. Its still a work in progress. I might form a committee to expand on this idea. I'll keep you posted. Until then, I'm sure you could look for the Westminster Dog Show reruns. I can promise you this--you'll be riveted.

Shrinking

I have a problem. Well, wait a sec....I have a lot of problems, but I'm concerned about one in particular. My boobs are shrinking. I'm not kidding. My bra doesn't fit right anymore. If I bend over it just slides down past my ribs. Weird, huh? It moves around so much, it just feels like I'm wearing another shirt. So, my only conclusion is that my boobs are shrinking.

I've pondered my problem for a couple of weeks. At first I thought it was my bra. I only own one. Buying any more than that is a serious waste of money. My sister bought this one for me about 5 years ago. So it is definitely not stretched out yet. I've got at least 8-9 more years out of this model. My thoughts have moved to the weather. The humidity here effects everything. Your house doors will slightly swell and shrink due to the humidity levels. Maybe that's why my boobs have shrunk. Low humidity. If that's the case, they should puff back up in a month or so.

The only other thing I can think of is the swelling in my feet. My shoes feel a bit tighter. Maybe all my boob fluff has fallen down into my feet. I think I'll try standing on my head tonight to see if I can get it to float back to its proper place. If that doesn't work, I'm just going to cross my fingers for those humidity levels. Puff, puff, puff.

Does She Look Sick?

Makell has the flu. Can you tell? The picture is blurry because she is skating up the sidewalk in her Heelys. A really high fever. Totally obvious, right?

I am the kind of mom that loves a good fever. It slows them down. My kids NEVER sit still or stop talking, so a temperature of 102 is a welcomed friend. They will actually lay on the couch and watch TV like normal children. You people who have kids that will do that on a regular basis (without force), don't know how good you've got it. Fevers are my friend.

Yet, Makell has had a high fever for 2 days and she hasn't even wavered. She has had a few moments where I have found her just laying on the floor, but she pops back up within 10 minutes. I keep telling her that I think she needs to take a nap (cross my fingers, please, please, please). She then tells me that she needs to play tetherball.

Yesterday I went upstairs to clean the bathrooms. I assumed that Kellie was too sick to get into any trouble while she was unattended. While I was out of her sight, she tried to cook a stack of frozen tortillas on the pancake griddle. As I have been typing this post, she gathered all the loose change that we keep in an empty jar and rolled it all up in her shirt. She has now found a stack of safety pins and secured her money roll in her shirt so that she can just walk around with it. She jingles when she jumps. Ya, she's really sick. Maybe I'm the one who needs the fever.

Mmmm Tasty

Conversation after school:

Me: "How was your day?"

Addie: (nonchalantly) "I got in trouble and had to pull a ticket."

Me: "Seriously? Again?"

Addie: "I didn't do nothing."

Me: "Really!?"

Addie: "Mmm.....I licked."

Me: (disbelief) "You licked who?"

Addie: "I licked my friend while we were in line for the bathroom."

Me: "Why?"

Addie: (shoulder shrug) "Ba-cause I wanted to."

Thoughts to myself--maybe she thought her friend would taste like bacon.

Accessories Mark A Winner

Football is funny. Kinda stupid, but mostly funny. Tight pants, lots of shoving, and in the end, you get a pretty ring. Sounds like The Bachelor, but whatever.

I pick my team based on fashion. I had no idea who was playing in the big game today, but I did check out their color scheme. Red and yellow are lovely colors. At first glance it was hard to choose, so it all came down to the details:

• First off, your team can score some serious negative points when you wear white pants. A-it's after Labor Day, and B-it's immodest and that's not choosing the right.
• Accessories are always the clincher. The yellow team had WAY cuter shoes. I think I even noticed a little patten-leather. Very nice touch with just a hint of flair.
• If the shoes weren't the tipping point, it all came down to the gloves. You had to be paying attention because not every player wears them, only the little boy who catches the ball. Again, yellow team wins big for fancier gloves.

By the end of the first 10 minutes in the game, I had the winner finalized in my mind. The most fashion forward team always wins. It's just the law of the universe. Just think how pretty those new rings are going to look when paired with their canary yellow tights. Dazzling.