Friday, February 13, 2015

In All The Ways It's Wonky

You guys. This has been a weird week. I can't put my finger on why. It's just been so off-kilter. The edges of the days feel frayed and misshaped. The feeling makes me nervous. Why is it all so wonky-ish?

You know what's been bugging me? I'm gonna tell you what's been bugging me. The kids. Are you surprised? I know you're not. But, seriously. These kids. Do you know how sick I am of someone asking what's for dinner at 7:30 am? Sick, I tell you. Just sick. Why do they care so much what we're eating that night? Sometimes they even sneak in a text from school asking that dreaded question. It's so 50 shades of weird.

You know what else? I'll tell you what else. The piles on the stairs. Piles. I nicely stack all their crap right there in the walkway. They're headed up those stairs anyway, so why the heck can't you bend down and grab that pile of crap on your way up. Why? It's maddening.

And guess what I've recently discovered? After Daughters #1 or #2 drive my car, I have to move the seat up in order to drive myself. Say to the what? How is it possible that they're making me shorter than them? Am I driving the wrong way? That is a high possibility.

I have to tell you something that's just going to rock your socks off. I'm serious.

I got Botox this week.

Hold up. Not the kind your thinking. Experimental injections for my migraines. I've been trying to get this done for over a year. And it happened this week. Magic and fairy dust, people. That's what I'm shoutin'. I'm expecting big miracles from this treatment. Which means it totally won't work.

30 shots. And them babies hurt like the dickens. Just before the doctor started, I heard him say to the nurse, "Let's mix some morphine with that." Um, huh? That should've been my first clue that these shots aren't for the faint of heart. You wanna know the golden ticket awesomeness of it all? I can't raise one of my eyebrows. Bam. For legit. I was warned of this side effect, but didn't really consider that it would happen. Now I'm weird on the inside and the outside. Serves me right.

So, for now, me and my one eyebrow will wish you a wonky Valentines.
That's just all I've got for today.


1 comment :

Debbi said...

Lisa I love you! Happy valentines day and I hope the botox helps!