Monday, April 28, 2014

Sometimes You Can't Ignore The Crazy

I have a superpower.
It's my ability to ignore all the whack-job crazy this family brings to the table. My power has been honed over time. It's now razor sharp.

In the early years, (like when Child #2 was 3 years old. And was brought to my doorstep by a total stranger because this child had walked all the way to a main road! And then willingly got in this stranger's car and showed her where we lived!) I wasn't such an expert at the ignoring. I am now. Boy howdy, I'm a master.

But every once in a blue moon, I unconsciously (because who would willingly?) take a step back and view the crazy with untrained eyes. I really don't like it when my mind does this. It's like my superpower gets a glitch and let's me see reality. It's so stupid.

I noticed a certain child, who won't be named, was using nail clippers while sitting on the couch watching TV. Before you even cringe, this is a regular occurrence. With more than 1 child. Nail clipping happens on the couch. I can't understand it. I yell, stomp my feet, scream and turn in circles, and they still persist in the clipping. And because I have much bigger battles to fight, I succumb to defeat.

Our house also fosters heaping doses of laziness. So of course, the clippers remained where they started. And of course, I went to clean them up. And found that the child who won't be named had clipped the webby fingers right off the plastic frog. Poor guy. I can't decide if it's morbid, creepy or just dumb.

That's just the tip of the iceberg crazy.

The favorite baby child has become obsessed with a stuffed elephant:
As we were waiting for the bus this morning, she was frantic about where she had laid this elephant to rest while she was at school. I tried to convince her I would take care of the stuffed thing, but she wasn't convinced. Smart girl. Because, really? I totally wasn't even going to look for it.

And if you're friends with The Husband on Facebook, you've seen Child #1 in action. With helium. It's the best video ever. Ever! I took it months ago and she pleaded, demanded it not get posted anywhere in the Internet Universe. The Dad lost all parental cool yesterday when he sent it out to the world.

Oh, and just for fun, because you need to know, The Helium Child plays with her eyebrows when she's concentrating or tired. She just runs her finger over them and they get all wonky and bushy. The whole family is trained to point out when she has an eyebrow askew. So, if you're ever visiting our home (watch your back if you do) and you hear someone yell, "Calm the caterpillar!!" you'll know what it means.

Crazy in the coolest kind of way.

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