My Current State

The husband has officially declared, "We are better at raising butterflies than we are humans." I'm giving a big 'Amen!' to that. And now I've become a blogger who talks about hatching winged creatures. This might be a slight indication that my sanity is on the brink of snapping. It's the end of the school year, people. And I am {this} close to losing it.

Speaking of which, if you do nothing else today, or all weekend, you have to read this mom post. I'm sure it's been all over Facebook, because multiple people have sent me the link (I'm not on Facebook, but that's a story for another day). But, I'm being serious here. You HAVE to read this. It's the best thing I've read in a month. And I read a lot.

As for me? I'm doing this:

This is the state of my floor, because nothing screams priorities like 'making a cute summer list'. My To Do list is so long, I could wrap it around my house twice, but I'm ignoring all that. I can't seem to find the energy to care. Summer Lists are a huge deal at our house. This one is going to be epic. The kids have all taken a look at the rough draft and said, "Mom, you're so weird".

In between my crafting (and my chiropractor visit), I'm washing Child #1's sheets. This causes great mayhem around here. No one, and I mean no one, touches that girl's bed. I have to prep her beforehand. It's a little crazy. When I went to remove her sheets, it had been so long since she'd made her bed (like, never), I had to brush the dust off the corners. And I'm pretty sure her room smelled like bacon.

Enjoy your weekend. Craft a little, read a little and maybe hatch a butterfly, or two, or seven.

Find Your Focus

In my past life, I was a drill team competition judge. You didn't know? I rarely speak of it, because the irony that none of my daughters is a dancer causes me physical pain. But, now you know. I was a judge. For years and years.

It's interesting the skills you develop when critiquing a dance team. You sit high above the floor to get an aerial view of everything. And your focus is broad. It's not pinpoint precision on a single dancer, it's more of a wide, sweeping view. It's the only way to see unity and timing. Does that make sense?

I've  realized something over the last several weeks. I use that same kind of focus with my life. I keep a broad, sweeping view. I try to see everything and everyone, all at once. I try to keep all the schedules, problems, due dates, worries and needs in full, aerial view in my mind. At all times.

It can't be done. Not well, at least. And not without personal cost to sanity. Because one mother is only ever one mother. She isn't meant to take it all in and hold it there, while keeping a level focus. Because at times, the spectrum is too vast to manage. Even when we think we should.

That doesn't mean the 'To Do' list gets any shorter or life becomes less hectic. Those only seem to grow over time. But your focus doesn't have to grow right along with it. It doesn't have to be broad and sweeping. It doesn't have to see, and manage and solve it all. It simply has to narrow it's gaze onto what really matters.

Some nights, dinner may just have to be cereal. And some weeks, laundry may just take a while to come clean. In the end, those things just really don't matter. And neither does a majority of the never-ending tasks we worry about. It's all about perspective. This week, I've decided to find mine.  I suggest you find yours too. It just might make your load feel a little lighter. That's worth the effort any day.

Find your focus.
And hold it there.

The Word Is Out

News travels fast. Because apparently, if you need to make a cocoon and hatch yourself into a butterfly, my house is the place to be. Not only are we making butterflies in the house, caterpillars are now taking up residence on my porch.

I sat and stared at this little pod for hours yesterday (OK, I mean minutes). And, I'm jealous. Of the caterpillar. Because, let's be real--there is only room for one in that tight, little habitat. Only. One! I bet it's quiet in there. You can't chauffeur the children and hand out gobs of money if you're sleeping in a cocoon. Nor do you have to listen to them whine when I want them to get up off the couch and put their cup in the sink. Right now, that sounds downright heavenly.

Just for fun, I'm going to pretend to be a caterpillar today. Why not? They're everywhere I look. I'm going to eat, and eat and eat. And then I'll curl up tight in my bed and stay there for 3 days. I'll take my Kindle.

Let's make this a group effort. Ready, set, go.

May Daze

Is there some unwritten rule of the universe that this month notches up on the crazy? Because seriously, it feels full-tilt, non-stop crazy around here. There are concerts, projects, activities, school functions. Oh, and dinner needs to appear and laundry washed. And then the teenagers start texting me from school begging me to bring them (and their friends!) lunch. You know, because I have nothing else to do.

I'm giving you an update on our goings-on. Why? Because I function on the belief that the Internet is fascinated by the Fosters. Yah, I know it's weird.

Child #1 got a job. My bank account is so happy, it started weeping. She brought home her first paycheck and stretched out her arms and stared at it. Then she looked at us and said, "How do I get the actual money out of this?" Todd suggested she squeeze it out.

The Husband decided to hatch butterflies. Inside the house. I'm totally serious. He put 6 ginormous caterpillars in a jar on the counter. We huddled around that thing for days watching them consume leaves like sumo wrestlers eating ribs. Fascinating stuff.

When they all started hatching, I whisked them outside speedy quick. And of course I was the only one around to do all the work. I spent 2 days with my ninja skills getting fresh butterflies out of the jar and into the blazing Texas sun. I've now got a skill to add to my stellar resume.

In an effort to amuse myself, I've started sending random pictures to Child #1 during the day. And I text her endlessly just to annoy her. It makes me happy. I'm fairly certain that's not normal.

Child #2 just finished her "Flour Baby" assignment. This is what she did to it on the bus yesterday. The first day she brought it home she ripped it's arm off. She strapped it back on with that orange duct tape. Then she proceeded to let the baby sit on a kitchen stool for 18 straight hours. I'm not quite sure that was the point of this project. When I mentioned that she wasn't taking very good care of her baby, she simply said, "Eh." Well, there you go.

Questions For The Day

When I ask her why she has the inability to pick anything up off the floor, she tells me she "has a system". So this morning I stand and stare, and stare some more, and try to understand how exactly she functions in here. Is there a hidden clue I'm missing? Because I'm confused. What exactly is this system called? Teenage lazy?

When one receives 4 pounds, (yes, 4 pounds!) of See's chocolates for Mother's Day, do you think that person could eat every last morsel within 24 hours (because said person is known to be an overachiever)? And if so, how much weight would one gain? I mean, it's 4 pounds of chocolate. So, you would only gain 4 pounds, right? Because that's kindof a no-brainer. Breakfast, lunch, dinner. Done.

On This Day...

"May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts you have received, and pass on the  love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us."

Saint Terese of Liseaux

I wore this button to church.

Yes. Yes, I did.

Happy Mother's Day. May you find your own special way to sizzle.

42

It's my birthday.
So I asked them all to loudly exclaim their favorite thing about me.
I was met with silence.

So I ate 7 cupcakes after dinner.
It was my favorite.

Smart Might Be Overrated

It's been one of those weeks (years maybe?) where I question my commitment to sanity. "What are you doing?!" is on an endless loop in my brain. Because honestly, I don't recognize myself. I have a college degree, people! I have been on TV, for heaven's sake (OK, only briefly with a bunch of other people, but whatever). And here I am gettin' crafty for the teachers.

The twins were watching Barney at my house yesterday, and I found myself singing along. Mmm Hmm. Knew every word. Sang with Baby Bop. Oh, and this was right after Teenager #1 told me she could see my bra through my shirt. For the love.

I'm determined to feel like a productive grown up today. Problem is, I have no idea what that means. It's been so long since that's happened, I'm not quite sure what to do. Truthfully, I just want to go sit in the middle of the library and read. That's what smart people do, right?

***

My sister is a Godmother. Did you know that? It's kindof a cool title. Am I jealous? Um, no. I make my kids call me Queen, and that's a way cooler mantra. And let's be real here, if you had to pick between my sister and I for a good role model, who would you choose? Exactly.

Anywho, my sister is on official Godmother duty this weekend at my brother's house. And, I feel like she needs some kind of a grand statement. But, what does one wear if you're a Godmother? A tiara? A big button for her coat? What about a beauty queen sash? I'm really out of my element here. Oh, I know. Big, feathered wings. Because then she'll be like a Fairy Godmother and grant wishes. I like it.

I bet Godmother's are smart. And feel like full-fledged grown ups. Because nothing screams adult like wings. Hmm. Maybe I'll go with the sash.

***

Enjoy your weekend.
Do something that makes you feel smart. Like, grant wishes.