Full Price

Why do we tend to place ourselves at the bottom of the list? Maybe not always at the very bottom, but definitely in the lower tier. I don't have an answer, I'm simply asking. Why do we do that?

We seem to keep everyone on our radar all the time. Their needs, wants, commands. These orbit around us, ever near. Who needs shoes, what's low in the pantry, each child's favorite items for packed lunch. We know what time they need to arise in the morning, we know who is struggling in school or with friends. We know. We just do. It's a part of who we are.

But yet, we don't often stop to take stock of our own needs and wants. Why is that? Again, no answer.

When we do take moments to actually pull our own name to the top of the list, we often push those needs aside. It's as if we don't feel justified in fulfilling our own wishes. All those items from everyone's lists just tend to carry more weight. Meeting those demands feels verified.

I saw this white, beautiful bird at the store a few weeks ago. It was one of those things that the moment I saw it, I wanted it. I certainly didn't need it, nor was it a required purchase for anyone I keep in my orbit. It was just for me. For no reason. Just because.

The price was $4.99. It felt extravagant and unnecessary. But then I noticed that this bird was 50% off. That felt worthwhile. Somehow my brain seemed to register that I wasn't worth the full price, but I could definitely muster up to half off. Strange reasoning, I know.

But I know I'm not alone. We all do this. If a child, spouse, loved one had needed this porcelain beauty, I would have paid full price without thinking twice. But when matters rested solely upon myself, I wavered. Just typing it makes it feel all the more ridiculous.

So, I shall ask again, 'Why do we tend to place ourselves at the bottom of the list?' Maybe it's just a habit. Or maybe it's just something we subconsciously do. Whatever the reason, I think it needs some adjustment. I think we need to start seeing ourselves at full price. Because really, we are worth even more than that.

Maybe our list doesn't have to remain numbered according to value. Maybe it can just be a list. Names of those we love and serve. Ourselves included. That definitely seems worthwhile. We are Full Price. We just are. No more unanswered questions.