The Never Ending Question

I never thought it would be this hard. Did you? This never ending side of mothering that tends to drain the life out of you. Did everyone else already know this, and somehow I missed that prep class?

Before kids, I had a basic idea. More of a notion, really. But it only included the physical stuff. The long nights, the continual making of meals, the mounds of laundry and constant bottle feeding. I never, ever, not even once considered the mental stamina I am forced to find. That's the hard part.

Difficult children are, well, difficult. In reality, all kids can be difficult. Some just take it to a whole new level. There are families out there that don't have children who stretch them until they snap. Some days, like today, I envy them.

I don't know why it has to be so hard. Why am I constantly feeling that I don't know what to try next, because my current course is always faltering? Maybe that's just the way of life. This mothering life. Maybe there is no middle ground where peace can be found. Maybe, just maybe, this part of my life is more about what I need to learn than what behaviors they need corrected.

The flip side of hard is love. It has to be. Because the stronger the battle often delivers the greatest rewards. So today I shall cling to love, and grip it with fierce determination. In the end, that's all that really matters. It softens the hard and rounds out it's edges. And that makes the hard parts of mothering worth all the effort.