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Sunday, April 6, 2008

Bad Parenting 101

I could write volumes about being a bad parent. I actually think I'm quite good at it. For a while, I thought that the things that happened around here were a result of Todd and I's DNA mix--it just didn't mix right. But now, as I try to view things with an outside perspective, I have come to the conclusion that I'm just a bad parent. What else could be the answer?

So, I offer 2 tips today:
  • Deceive your children. I don't necessarily find anything wrong in deception, but maybe I shouldn't find so much entertainment in it. I convinced my kids that it was my birthday (when it's not). It started innocently enough, and I just rolled with it. I had them REALLY convinced that my feelings would be hurt if I didn't wake up to find a present on the table. I actually overheard them in the car saying that, "we better wrap somethin'". They even told Nana it was my birthday, and she tried to tell them I was just joking. Again, bad parenting skills--I told them that Nana is a liar. Then, just when I had them, Todd showed them the calendar where my birthday is written down in May. What a wiener. I just wanted to see if I could wake up the next day and they would all be nice to me because it was my birthday. I thought about making myself a barbie doll cake. I made pumpkin bread instead and quietly wished myself a happy birthday.
  • Let your children play in the unfinished house next door. I'm not quite sure what is so enticing about that house, but they love it. I think they sweep in there. I've seen them take brooms with them and I always hear them say, "we better wear our shoes." So responsible, those girls. A better parent would check the house out, and make sure it's not dangerous. Not me. They go running out the door and I think, "oh good glory, it's finally quiet."
So, the next time you feel your life is a little drab, just tell your kids that tomorrow is your birthday. Just make sure that Todd doesn't hear....



5 comments :

Nancy said...

Wade tried to convince the kids my birthday was tomorrow. It did'n work but thanks for the idea!!
Fancy

Tracie said...

Hi Lisa!

This is Tracie Wilton, Emily's friend from Utah. I hope you don't mind that I found your blog through Emily's, but I now have a new infatuation, and that is you! I LOVE LOVE LOVE your sense of humor. If you are ever bored out of your mind, please feel free to check our our blog at maddoxkai.blogspot.com. Your girls are priceless!

Quelly said...

It is my birthday on Friday. I believe the girls are fond of me so maybe you could tell them that the best present they could give me this year is to do everything in their power to make sure you never see or hear them on Friday.

it's just an idea...

Bethie said...

Be kind to your children, though they don't deserve it! Remember they're children, a delicate stage of life! Someday they'll be parents too.

Melanie Rossi said...

Hey, I'm friends with Rebecca and we went out tonight and got talking about our love for blogging and so she told me I HAD to check out The Foster Circus blog. So when I got home I did and I have been cracking up at your posts. I am so the same way with my kids, too! Anyway, thanks for the entertainment!