Monday, January 5, 2015

A Note To Walmart

Dear Walmart,

You and me are going to have a sit down 'Come to Jesus'. Right now. Because you need truth speaking. Right this holy, hot second.

You're a big, dumb store. Truly. But, guess what? You're the cheapest prices around, so I still enter your big, dumb doors. Every stinkin' Monday. And today I've reached my limit of tolerance. For reals. I'm so mad at you, I'm putting you in a time out. You actually deserve worse, but that's all I've got.

Here's the thing. I don't think you understand the enormity of what it takes to grocery shop for a family. It's grueling. And exhausting. And you know what? I still have to take this $200 worth of crap and load it in my car, then unload it into my house, and then put it all away. Just so my people can eat it all clean out. Are you getting the picture? This is hard work and you're making it even harder.

Because, right now, I wanna know why on earth you have 48 check out lanes available in your store, but only 2 are open. Two! Every time I pull my overloaded cart up to this check out section, I want to throw a full-blown tantrum. Like, total screaming fit. Why, Walmart? Why do you never, ever, ever have more lanes open?

And can we talk about the pricing guns? Why do all the managers carry them? I've never actually seen them used. Just carried. And let me tell you, today, while waiting for 482 minutes in the check out lane, I almost grabbed one of those guns to knock myself out and end the agony. This is what you do to us mothers, you big, dumb store.

I can't even address the state of your customer service area. Honestly. Why does it always look like a run-down garage sale over there? Why? And again, you have one teller working that area, and a line that wraps down through the store. It's so stupid. Surely this isn't new information. Right? Do you act this way on purpose? Is this the price we pay to shop your isles?

Listen, and listen close. You've gotta get your act together. I'm not messin' around. You have got to make a mother's job easier. Lighten her load, if you will. Stop crowding all your isles with big containers of socks. Open more check out lanes! And for the love, no one, and I mean no one, buys those mayonaisse jars that are the size of a puppy. Good grief.

I'll see you next Monday.
Expect a tantrum.


Stamp With Linz said...

I hate Walmart. That is all I can say about that. Happy Monday.

Kevin said...

Well, if this is just a rant and you fully intend on going right back there next week then just ignore the rest of what I have to say.
Stop shopping there weekly. You will be happier, save time and I guarantee you it will not cost you a ton more money. The biggest lie we have been led to believe is that walmart is cheaper than everywhere else. It is simply not true. I have found cheaper items at Target for Pete's sake. Will your grocery bill go up a bit? Probably. A lot? Not necessarily. Will you be happier and more productive? Absolutely. How much is that worth to you? I mean really? Try it for a couple of weeks and see. Maybe it won't turn out to be true for you. I'm betting it will and you will thank me.
In Utah we can't shop at walmart because their produce is literally unhealthy for our family. I don't know how people can feed that to their families.
I do go to walmart for specific things and I hate it every time I have to go there. It is negative and I try as hard as I can to remove negative things from my life.
I wish you good luck!

kristen black said...

I can see why in an earlier post you said you were wayyy to easy on your kids. Walmart is HORRIBLE and if all you've got is this "time out". We're in trouble! Haha! I couldn't agree more though in the state of that store.

Ash & Tim said...

I feel the same way but I too will be there on Tuesday. Thankfully Utah has Winco! Even better :) So I only need to get yogurt for Tim at walmart (lactose free and walmart is the only store that sells it) which means he usually gets 15 small containers. I have leave a little room for the other stuff I find on the long walk to the yogurt section. Under 20 items lines for me :)

Connie Boyde said...

Walmart is ridiculous. We shopped there for a while and we dreaded every week that we had to go. I agree with Kevin...it's negative there, the bathrooms are absolutely disgusting, the lines are always long with very few cashiers. I also agree with Kevin that the produce is verge of hazardous.
We stopped going to Walmart and have found that our grocery bill has gone up very slightly; however, we NEVER wait in line, the produce is wonderful and it is a nice environment to be in (Smith's Marketplace).

Sarah R said...

Seriously! The only time I have ever seen more than half the checkouts open is on black Friday. I usually blow off the two and go to self checkout, which seems like a good idea until I invariably have to hit the call button because of an "Item not bagged" or something.

Michelle said...

We must have been in the same line, at the same time yesterday! I mean there were only 2 open! We had a 50/50 chance of being in the same lane!I too frequent wal-mart on Mondays to replenish our house. I keep considering taking my overloaded cart to the self checkout to see if someone (an employee) will assist me or if the machine will explode.

My name is Michelle & I am friends with your sister Emily & your niece Keegan is in the same class with 1 of my kids. Hope to meet you someday!

Julie Cluff said...

I swore off WalMart years ago and everytime my good husband suggests going there I have a full blown panic attack and throw a two-year-old fit!! Seriously, ask him. It's true!