The Current List

My obsession with condensing our life into bullet points continues. For some reason, I enjoy seeing all the crazy grouped together. It's like an official list of "Bad Parenting Examples". We aim to please.

** The girls have all mentioned "it's kinda warm upstairs". And we've been all awesome-parent like, "Seriously? This is 2nd grade science. Heat rises. Stop being cry babies."

And then I actually went upstairs. Because who doesn't love their bathroom decorated for their birthday! (and their tub filled with balloons!) And while putting streamers on Child #1's ceiling, I thought to myself, "It really is warm up here."

Turns out the upstairs air conditioner isn't working. I have nary an idea how long it's been broken. The cry babies were right. Darn it.


** As a general rule, I avoid the 2nd floor. That's where the offspring reside. So, I do my best not to go up there. Ever. My sanity can't take it. Here's Exhibit A:

This is the bathroom that #2 and #3 share. This is what it looks like at this very moment. Let's pause and mention a few things--

The toilet paper roll situation will not be discussed.

We have a 'no food upstairs' rule. How interesting to see that Frito's wrapper in the garbage can. And does that mean a child was actually eating while sitting on the potty? There are no words for that thought.

And lastly, that is definitely an ipad sitting there. This is where it lives. For bathroom reading? I've never asked.


** Yesterday morning, I woke to find a note tapped to my computer screen and the monitor set to display a phone case.

"I want. Plze order when you see this."
Clearly, the Baby Child has become confused on how things work around here. Because this ain't it. We won't even talk about the way she spelled Please like she would text it instead of use it in it's natural form.

When she woke up later that morning, she was stunned that I hadn't ordered this case. Once I described the jobs she could do to earn it, she simply huffed and walked away. Cha ching!


** And lastly, I think it's worth mentioning that I mopped my bathroom floor. This really is epic. I've lived here for 7 years. I've only ever mopped my floor 1 other time. Sweep? Yes. Mop? Heavens no. I hate it.

This week I felt like being a rock star, and I pulled out the mop. Guess what? It removed the top layer of dirt and now it's all just one giant layer of hair spray. Everywhere you walk is sticky. Like, super sticky. Turns out that being a rock star is lame.

I'm thinking about buying a puzzle or a cupcake to cheer myself up. Maybe both.
Join me?