It's been a week of trying to remember why I do what I do. Through the ordinary, mundane, daily tasks I feel myself chanting, "Why?". This kind of thing rotates through my head every couple months (weeks, days?). A mood that just decides to dig in deep and settle for a while. It's hard to drag yourself out of that frame of mind. It really is.
So, I decided to look at pictures of my girls from a time far back. Somehow those memories always feel lighter. I wonder why that happens. Why we look into the past and life feels easier. Not completely easy, just easy-er. It's weird how that works. But those memories bring bunches of happiness nonetheless.
Good glory, they're adorable! And matching! Matching is my favorite. My spirit seems to soar when I look at them like this. I know my life was full of all sorts of complications and craziness. I just don't remember that part with clarity anymore. But I do remember these girls of mine. Every little, glorious, hard, difficult and lovely part of them.
Today, life feels more complicated. More crazy. Maybe that's just the way of things as they grow older. Maybe life was designed to stack the odds as it goes along. Most of the time I find myself wishing it wouldn't. But that's just futile, right?
But, in this moment, as I look at them, my heart and mind just finds a steady stillness that only they can bring. And all my "Why?" questions seem to fade into a steady background hum. The "Why's?" don't ever go away. Not really. Life just doesn't work that way.
But, it does offer us an answer. A reply to the "Why's?". Your response to why you do what you do. The answer is right there in front of you. All around you. Woven in and out of you. These people that have become the sweetest gifts you never knew you needed.
They are the answer.
They are all of it.
The one thing that keeps you whole.
Take the time to love your answer today.
Tomorrow you can go back to your regular crazy.