Monday, February 17, 2014

Normal We Are Not

Every now and then, I get determined to have a normal family. Most of the time, I just have a light hope for it. But there are little spurts, blips, nanoseconds? that I really give myself a pep-talk to give 'normal' a good, solid effort. They go something like this...."Lisa. Bless your heart. All the other mothers you know can somehow pull this off. You can do this. Anyone with eyelashes as lovely as yours should be able to have normal kids."

And then, a few more spurts, blips, nanoseconds tick by, and I think...
"Girl, please."

Because, let's be real. Normal just isn't in the stars for this family. It is what it is.

Just yesterday we all sat on our pew in church. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice that Child #1 has taken detailed time to give herself a tattoo of the words to the song the choir just finished singing.
I tried to be all self-righteous and scold her like a good mother should. But really, I just pulled out my cell phone and took a picture. 'Normal' is for pansies.

Within minutes Children #2 and #3 took action and started writing on their hands. They decided to draw little stick men jumping on trampolines. For the rest of the time they just entertained themselves by squeezing their hands open and closed while watching stick men jump up and down.

I wouldn't even know what 'normal' looked like. You hear me?


Speaking of normal...On Saturday, I stopped by my "special" Walmart. (The one I try to avoid because the people feel extra crazy.) And I was walking down the isle near the clothing section, when I overheard a couple having a conversation. The woman says this, "I really like that sweater. I just wish I wasn't so fat when I'm naked."

I literally stopped my cart right then and there. I was that puzzled.

Is she thinner when her clothes are on? I'm confused. Granted, she was missing half her teeth, so maybe I didn't hear her correctly. But I still can't figure out what she meant. And to make matters worse, I've spent the last 2 days trying to figure it out! I'm a ridiculous kind of crazy.

No wonder my kids aren't normal.

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