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Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Let's Discuss


Can we just stop the world for a second and discuss some pressing matters?

Pinterest. Oh, how I love me some Pinterest.
But, here's some truth--it's not real. Not really. Looking at Pinterest is like reading a book. You get to be transported to a lovely place with pretty people and perfect crafts. It's more of a fairyland. A really, super awesome and addicting one.

So, here are my pressing matters. I am in dire straights looking for answers:

1. Will someone please explain this new craze of Maternity Pictures. I mean, they're everywhere. Pregnant ladies standing in wheat fields. Couples cradling a chubby belly. These pictures are definitely not taken with an iphone. No selfies here. That means professional photographers are involved. I'm crazy confused. Seriously. Does anyone out there remember feeling like a rock star when they were pregnant? Rockin' enough to stand in a wheat field and hire a photographer?

2. Tattoos. This one is super-dee-duper confusing to me. I know that people get them. But why are you posting them on crafty Pinterest? Because, let's just be honest. Some of those tattoos, like the life-sized octopus, just make you look like a moron. I mean, really. Who, in their right mind, inks the entire cast of Peter Pan on their shoulder blade? For. Reals. And we aren't even going to discuss the fact that tattoos are kinda like putting permanent scratches on a Porsche. Well, in my case, it'd be more of an old Buick.

3. This last one is hard for me to even talk about. I'm having heart palpitations just thinking about it. Here goes.....Edible glitter. I just saw a picture of it this morning on The Pin. Holy Canoly. Let's take a moment and gather our sanity. Because, you've seen real glitter, right? Nasty stuff. Hate it. It sticks to everything. Everything! So, for the love of all that's holy, why would you ingest it into your body? Just thinking about it almost makes me vomit.

And last, but not least, I give you this. Just because it's so freaking awesome:
Our great friends were at the same choir concert as we were last night. After it was over, Child #2 tried to avoid us at all costs. Until The Bill Man grabbed her into a hug. And wouldn't let go. She kicked. And wiggled. And moaned. He held tight and smiled the whole time. Then The Dad joined in and they squeezed her even tighter. I can't even describe the joy this brought me. I nearly passed out from my glee. I'm a mother who finds great delight in the suffering of her children.

Maybe I'll post it on Pinterest.


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