Friday, August 23, 2013

The Home Stretch

Raise your hand if you're ready for school to start. I'm actually raising both so that it feels more like prayer than a request. Because, let's face it, the last 2 weeks of summer are cruel. They wear a mother down to a stub. Just yesterday I decided that I'm now allergic to their voices. Honestly.

The Husband had a brilliant stroke of intuition and took the day off work. I'm fairly certain he knew the safety of our offspring was in jeopardy. He's smart like that. I, on the other hand, am not. For the last 10 days, I've been convinced that my brains will fall right out if I even attempt to use them. I've slipped over the edge of crazy.

And, because I'm on the far side of unhinged, I gathered the children close so we could "bond while doing fun stuff". That totally sounds like the normal me, right?

We made taffy. Why? Because it's what we do every summer. And, just like tradition, it was an epic fail. But, they still tried to eat it none-the-less. The result? Stickiness everywhere. The counter, hands, people's legs, the floor, the kitchen rugs. It was awesome.

We also made giant bubbles. Because, you know, who doesn't want to play outside when it's 400 degrees?

The coolness factor of this "bonding while doing fun stuff that lasted for only 15 minutes", may have earned me moments with kids who actually liked me. But again, it only lasted 15 minutes.

Yesterday I was a super-genius and took them all to the dentist. At the same time. That's a lot of Fosters in a confined space. All 3 girls were in different sections of the office, and I would walk between to check on them. At one point I found Child #2 roaming around the office with her dental-bib-thing still hanging over her chest. When she noticed me, she simply said, "Hey, I'm bored." I just turned around and walked away.

Child #1 needs her wisdom teeth out soon and #2 needs some minor mouth surgery. Oh, and #3 needs braces. When the dental assistant handed over that information, I just stared at her with big eyes. I asked her if any of those procedures required them to stay home and recuperate for longer than 2 hours. I was really disappointed in her answer.

I just need to make it to Monday.
I think I can, I think I can...

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