Things I hate (in order of intensity):
1. People wasting my time.
3. Anything that requires me to wear a swimsuit.
So, now you know. I will be honest and admit that this is only a partial list. But for now, these are the 5 things I loathe. With this in mind, you can only imagine the shock that occurred when I actually took my kids to the beach. To. The. Beach! Truth be told, if my sister wasn't with me, I would have faked having pneumonia to get out of it.
Once we returned home and I vacuumed 500 pounds of sand out of my car and did 84 loads of laundry and then put away all the crap we didn't need but took anyway, I decided something: We need badges. You know, like the scouts. They do a bunch of useless stuff and they get a badge to sew onto some big, green, beauty-pageant-sash-thing. Are you seeing what I'm saying? Mother's need badges.
Because I, Lisa Foster, do not, DO NOT, do the beach. But I did it anyway. So I want a badge to sew onto a sash-thing. I think we all should get one. They should hand you your first badge when you birth the first child. And from that day on, every time you do something you really despise doing, all for the sake of your children's happiness, you get a badge.
Just think about it. You show up to Walmart and everyone has their sash-thing on. Because seriously, I'd wear my sash everywhere I went. I'd probably tie it to my car antenna so it could regally flap in the wind when I picked up the children from the high school.
I really think this is one of my most stellar ideas. Truly.
Who's with me? I'll start making sash-things tonight.