Again, I'm giving you something to do this weekend with the creative side of your brain. I have no idea which side that actually is, but I am fairly certain my brain is missing the other half. You know, the half that is smart and stuff.
I want to make this wreath so bad, I can hardly stand myself (click here for the details). I will make mine with dictionary pages instead of a phone book. I bought one a few weeks ago at Goodwill. Child #2 looked at it and immediately said, "Ohhh, it's something old fashioned." When I brought up encyclopedias, it blew her mind.
I saw myself at the library yesterday. My younger self, that is. It was toddler story time, and moms with strollers were everywhere. Little ones in tow, with babies on their hips. I remember being that mom.
Now I feel like a fermented mom. One that's been around so long, she just feels old and tired. The teenager mom feels totally different than the toddler mom. My younger self longed for the days that everyone was in school and people could feed themselves. Back then, 8:00 bedtime couldn't come fast enough.
Now, there is no bedtime and people can lift their own forks, but they do it while complaining or asking for money. I don't even feel any wiser now. In fact, I think I've gotten stupider over time. More seasoned and jaded. If I'm honest, rougher around the edges. The toddler mom was sweeter, softer (some of the time). The teenage mom feels worn down and just wants everyone to stop talking (all of the time).
But, here's what I saw through my younger self at the library-- Breathe it all in. This moment. This season. This now. This right now. Soak it all down deep into your skin and hold it there. The good, the bad, the hard and the joyous. Because, no matter what stage you're in, own it. Hold it all in your hands and imprint this moment with your children in your heart.
Because tomorrow it will change. The good will become the bad and the hard will be light years easier. And there will be new stuff you didn't even know would come along. But those souls, the ones you love to the moon and back, they will be there. Right there. With you. Remember every single bit of it. Don't wish it away. Because it does go away. Just don't let your heart forget.