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Sunday, July 31, 2011

The Other Side Of 40


I've been 40 for 84 days. Yes, I counted. The way I see it, 84 days is long enough to settle in and get comfortable with 40. I've had time to live with it and try it out. And guess what? I don't like it.

40 has not been good to me. Which is strange, because you know how I thrive on even numbers. But still, I've come to the conclusion that I don't like this side of 40. The worst part? I feel it. I feel old. OK, old-ER. My skin now sags in weird places, my teeth are falling apart and I'm pretty sure I make weird groaning noises when I stand up from the couch. Oh, and I sigh. A lot.

I remember my parents at 40. Clearly. And I can't seem to balance that memory with where I am now. It just doesn't register. I expected 40 to slide on by, much like any other year. But, it hasn't, and it aggravates me.

I have found one nice thing about my new age-- I don't care. About a lot of stuff. I've come to a point where energy is a limited resource, so I spend it wisely. A majority of the things I used to worry about, simply don't matter any more. It's rather liberating not to care what others think or have to say. I have no idea why it took me this long to realize it.

I've noticed that noise bothers me. Specifically the noise of my kids talking all at once in a confined space, like the family room. This could be a result of endless summer days together, or it could be my age. I haven't decided yet.

What I have decided is this: 40 is NOT the new 30. 40 is 40. The end. No turning back. From here on out, I'm wondering if things just continue on a downward slope, or if there's some way to coast for a while.

Maybe the older you get, the more your body gives way but your mind gives up trying to please everyone and you actually start enjoying life. In a weird way, that sounds rather nice. This side of 40 may not be so bad after all. I'll let you know....after the kids go back to school.


3 comments :

Rani said...

i feel your pain sister - I really do. I had no idea things would be so different. I'm thinking a pizzookie could take care of a lot of the pain---watcha think?

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