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Friday, February 18, 2011

Awake From The Coma

Life passes by when you're sick. It just skims along without any notice. I feel as if I've been in a coma for 10 days. I've been sick that long. Today I got dressed and drove to Target to buy some stuff. It didn't really matter what I bought, I just knew that the world would feel normal if I bought something. And, I was right.

I can't remember most of the last week and a half. Just parts here and there. I know people got up and went to school and then ate dinner later on. I have no idea if homework was done or anyone had clean clothes to wear.

Apparently, there are children who take freedom in a mother's misery. I believe that this eye belongs to Child #2. Oh, and this same child also tried to catch a ball with a glass vase yesterday. In the house. She was shocked when it shattered. Imagine that.

As I looked around the house this morning, I tried to take it all in. All the stuff that goes 'undone' when the House CEO falls to her knees. The scene didn't make me feel frustrated or upset. It made me grateful. Weird, I know.

You see, we mother's tend to have a thankless job. The stuff we do day after day goes unnoticed. It gets irritating. The 'unnoticing' part. And then we tend to dwell on the fact that we live in a house with ungrateful people who never acknowledge anything we do.

But then, life comes to a halt for a variety of reasons. Mine was because I'm cursed. Remember? For 10 days, I couldn't do any of my 'mother' stuff. And today, when I looked around, I realized that I missed it. All the things I do that go 'unnoticed'--I missed them. Because in our heart of hearts, we are mothers. We take care of our families. Whether they notice or not, we take care of them.

So today, I find gratitude as I stop to 'do' all that has gone 'undone'. Will my thankful heart last? Probably not. That's just how it goes. But at least for today, I can find joy in the mundane and happiness in the 'doing'.


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