Can I Still Wear Them?

The other day, Todd came home and started boiling water. He grabbed the biggest pot we have. The one that won't fit in a cupboard and is so big I store it on top of the laundry room cabinets. He filled it full of water and set it on the stove to boil.

I asked him if he was cooking lobster. He told me he was boiling his pants. What? "I don't really like the color of my pants. They're too light. I bought some dye at the grocery store and I'm going to boil them." Again, I repeat, What?

The first dye job produced pants that were a lovely yellow, golden color. He dried and ironed them. The next morning he put them on for work and asked me what I thought. I told him he had two options. One- save your dignity and throw the pants away. Two- wear the pants and gain a whole group of new male friends on the bus. He hung the pants back on the hanger.

That night he returned home with a darker color of dye. Round two produced this:Just for comparison, his shorts are a NORMAL khaki color. His new pants are now a burnt orange, red color. The picture doesn't do them justice. He asked, "Do you think I can still wear them?" Again, I shall say, What? I responded, "If you think that wearing pants the color of baby diarrhea is attractive, then go for it." He hung them back up on the hanger.

I'm not quite sure where this pants experiment will lead to next. But, of this I am certain-- I would have preferred he cooked lobster.