A Mother's Day

I'm not terribly fond of Mother's Day. To be quite honest, I don't like it. Never have. I still have to do all the things I normally do, except Todd makes a fantastic dinner. All day long I keep thinking that everyone else should have to go to church and I should stay home in my jammies and read a book. Now that would be a nice day.

I took this picture in 2004:

I clearly remember this specific moment. I had just finished sweeping the floor and I looked down at the pile and just starred. I realized that it represented my life. I had 3 small children and all I did was clean the floor, wipe the counters and pick up after everyone. I really didn't have much time for anything else. I felt like my life was just one big pile.

Motherhood is like that. One big pile. Some days that pile can be daunting. Other days that pile makes you smile. And most days, the pile is lots of work on behalf of those you love. It's never-ending, frustrating, unconditional and joy, all rolled into one.

Lately, a few people (related to me) have commented that I don't like my children. Hmm. Far from the truth. Just because I complain about them doesn't mean I don't like them. I adore them. Truly. They just make me want to drink battery acid sometimes so that I can go to the hospital and stay for a week.

I whine about my reality. It's what I do. That doesn't mean I would change my reality (other than Addie not talking so much), it just means that I'm open about my feelings towards it. Since when do parenting complaints equate unhappiness? Complaining is complaining. Nothing more. I simply put a voice to what a majority of mothers are thinking. I would love it if more moms complained. It helps you to know that you're not alone. That you're not the only parent who feels like they can't get their crap together or their kids to behave.

Under the surface of all the complaining, love is at the core. Love is always, always the biggest part of the pile. It's the only reason that I keep on cleaning up that pile.

I also took these pictures in 2004:



They're so cute I could eat 'em! It's amazing what time can do. It seems to haze over the hard parts and the good parts shine through a little brighter. Maybe the 'looking back' of motherhood is one of the sweet rewards. When I look at my current Mother's Day, I see the battles I am presently waging. But when I look at these 2004 photos, that Mother's Day oozes happy memories.

So, maybe one of the challenges of motherhood is to try, TRY to appreciate the pile you are currently taking care of. No matter how wretched that pile feels, at the close of the day, love is still the cornerstone. It always will be. Always.

Happy Mother's Day to all of the amazing women in my life.