Friday, May 29, 2009

My New Plan

For the last couple of days, I have been formulating a new plan. I've thought of many different scenarios and consequences. I've worked out all my options. I think I'm down to just a few minor details. Darn good thing, 'cuz summer starts in 6 days!

My initial thoughts were sparked by a letter I received in the mail. Well, I guess it wasn't exactly a letter. It was more of a....um, a....citation. It appears that I "supposedly" ran a red light. The camera snapped a fairly clear picture of my car and license plate, but I'm still not convinced. I owe $75 and Todd says I might be grounded from driving. Whatever.

At first I decided that the picture was fake and I wasn't going to pay the fine. But then my genius wheels started turning in my head. They led me to wonder what exactly would happen if I didn't cough up the $75. What if I do nothing? And I wait...hmm. Here's what I think will happen, I've worked out two scenarios:

Option #1: An officer shows up at my door. I invite him in and ask him to sit on the couch while I find my coin jar. As I slowly count out $75 in nickels, Mr. Officer can sit and observe the circus show. The girls will be all over him asking him bazillions of questions. After a good 20 minutes, when I know they've worn him down to dribble, I'll bring him his money in a ziploc. I'm hoping that he then turns to the girls and gives them a firm finger shake and lecture: "OK, listen up. You have no idea how lucky you are to have a mom with great eyelashes and who makes loads of desserts. Now stop trying to kill her. I'm serious. Knock it off!" Perfect.

Option #2: An officer shows up at my door. I explain to him that I have no means to pay my fine. He then informs me that he will have to take me to jail. I quickly grab my bag that's already packed, and we're out the door. I ask him if we can stop and get a coke at McDonald's on the way.

I'm not quite sure which scenario I like best. I think it'll depend on the day. I also think I need to firm up my plan a bit. Maybe I'll run the red light again, just for good measure. Then my plan will work for sure. I just know it.


Anonymous said...

I vote for the first plan!

quiet grace said...

A little jail time never hurt anyone!!