Wednesday, March 27, 2013

For A Giggle Or Two...Or Twelve

 Me and my training bra self had a mammogram today. My mom offered comforting words, "I don't mean to be rude, but how exactly do they do that?"

Here's the answer-- Lots of selective squishing. Like, lots.


Unless the TV is on, Child #2 rarely graces us with her presence. Nor does she sit and chat with the family. Ever.

Something unusual happened last night. She sat and talked. Willingly. I'm thinking she must be getting sick. In her I'm-Pretending-To-Like-My-Family moment, she entertained us with stories from one of her teachers.

Here's what we learned (you might want to write this down): There are cannibals in Brazil. And apparently, they only like to eat the smart people. So that's why you need to act dumb. Oh, and it's also considered an honor to be eaten.

Pigs can swim. But only for a few minutes. When her teacher was a girl, they put all the pigs from their farm in the garage because of flooding. They didn't want them in the house, because they stink. (Uh, right?). But even the garage started filling up with water. To save the pigs, the family tied empty water bottles around each one so they could float.

For. The. Love.

After our laughter died down, silence descended. Then, out of the blue, #2 declares, "Oh, and she also ate her grandma".

Hold. Back. The. Tears.

Who knew that if you buried your deceased grandma under an apple tree, it would grow and bear fruit that you could eat and it would taste just like her.


And thank you Texas, for making me smile. Especially when I'm parking my car to walk in to the OB for my annual girly-parts check:

I hope you find a reason to laugh today.
Even if it's at our expense.

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