I Dare Not To Speak It's Name

I have a bit of a confession. I've avoided speaking about it because it's too horrible to mention. But the time has come to open up and admit my actions. You better find a quiet place to sit and then hold on to your seat.

I've been exercising.

I know. It's ghastly. I don't like thinking about it. I have such an immense aversion to all physical activity that induces sweat. But yet, I have been running on my treadmill. At 5 freakin' 30 in the morning. With the immense amount of sugar I consume, I finally decided I should do something nice for my body. I made a rash decision. Now I'm stuck with the consequences. Running and sweating. Eew.

Do you remember the movie, The Princess Bride? Well, towards the end, prince charming Wesley is held captive in a secret chamber where he is hooked up to the nasty machine that sucks away years from his life. After each life zapping session, Wesley simply moans the words 'true love'. They're long, drawn out, painful expressions.

I've always known that exercising is evil torture. But, the other day I realized that my treadmill is just like Wesley's life sucking machine. Every time I step on it, I lose years of vitality. If you listen closely (who the heck would be listening at 5:30 in the morning?), you'll hear me moaning, "true luuuvvvvv". I love my dessert. Therefore, I must run. But I wonder, at what cost? If my treadmill is just taking away years from my life, then I will have less time to eat candy. I just might have to reevaluate my plan.

I could cut back on the size of my dessert. The thought makes me shiver. Or, I could try NOT eating it at all. A ludicrous idea. I guess I'm going to have to decide which is worse, exercising or refraining from treats. That's a toughie. Maybe I'll pray about it. It's a life altering decision. In the meantime, you can think of me at 5:30 am. I'll be sweating away my years.