Day Fifty Four- A Gentle Reminder

Life has a way of pointing out our weaknesses. Or, maybe we're just trained to focus on them. They just stand out with bold clarity. Often times, they're so bold, that's all we see. All the ways we fail, how frequently we fall short. Those are the moments that take up residency in our minds. They grab all our attention.

We know we shouldn't tunnel our vision, but we do it anyway. And at the end of the day, the week, the trial, we've convinced ourselves that we are not enough. That we can never be enough. It's a crazy cycle. But, it's also real.

Guess what else is real? The power of letting go. The power of taking a step back and deciding to be gentle with your own soul. Because, somewhere along the path, you made the decision to only look at your shortcomings and the ways you are lacking. So, make a different choice. Today.

Easier said than done. Right? Absolutely. Pretty words can only be motivational for so long. I know that. You know that. But, if you're going to let go, even just a little bit, you must choose. Now. To find a way to be kinder to yourself. That's a heavy and intimate internal battle.

There is a way. Mine is different than yours. I haven't found my way yet. Most days I feel far from it. But, I have been thinking about it. Somehow, that feels like the best place to start.

I think you should think about it too. What if we all decided to Let Go together? To look down deep and take stock of all the good we are. To speak softer words inside our thoughts. To have the power to open  your vision to who you really are. That kind of courage just might change the world. And your soul.

That feels like a battle worth fighting.
One small, miracle moment after another.

Let.

Go.

The Moral Of The Story

After kissing me goodnight last night, The Husband says, "You know....if anything ever happened to you, I'd just get a dog."

Well played.

Day Forty Nine- An Explanation

This is what its come to-- I'm afraid of my computer. Well, not the machine itself, but the mere sitting down to use it. The price it costs me is exhausting. Because, somehow, some way, my life goes full-tilt crazy when I touch the keys.

I've come to the conclusion that summertime is at fault. My people have been with me, all around me, for 49 days. Granted, I love them. Even adore them. But I love them more when they're at school. True story. Lately, by the time 4:00 rolls around, and they've been talking all day, I find myself thinking, "You're so much prettier when you're quiet."

Finding time to actually sit down at the computer is a task all by itself. Actually, that's not true. There's time, but it's interrupted every 3.4 minutes with a complaint, whine, fight, request, meltdown or screaming match. Just the idea of completing a full, intelligent thought and having the time to type it all out, is futile.

And then there are the days I dare myself to linger on Pinterest. Because, even that has become a scary place. Did you know that there are real mothers out there that make lemonade stands with their kids? They even print up darling banners and decorate a table. Then they stand back and take beautiful pictures of the whole shebang and post them on the Internet. I am completely mystified by these kinds of mothers.

I am not a lemonade stand kind of mom. In fact, if everyone is still alive every night at bedtime, I consider myself a genius. And on the days where I can fanagle my sister into taking 1 or 2 of my kids, I feel qualified for a scholarship to MIT. In my book, that level of intelligence definitely deserves a darling banner and decorated table. Amen.

The Husband called yesterday and asked, "How's your day?" I had to pause at that, offer a long sigh, and then explain: This is day 48 of summer. Unless all the children are in your possession, the answer to that is so blaringly obvious, I could punch you for even asking.

I hope you're enjoying summer as much as I am.

Blasted Pinterest!

Here's the downside to Pinterest (other than wasting hours just starring at pictures): It weaves the idea into your brain that you can make anything. It somehow convinces your subconscious, that you can be as crafty as the Internet. If thousands of women can paint a chevron pattern, then by darn it, so can I.

But, here's what the Internet fails to tell you...Anyone with OCD tendencies should take caution. In fact, there should be a designated category called, "Things Anyone Annal-Retentive Should Avoid".

I'm a crafty person. I can make lots of stuff. But the chevron has sent me over the edge. I think I spent 38 hours just trying to grid-tape-cuss a little at my canvas before I even started to paint.

I'm completely mystified how Pinterest is full of well-rounded people who have painted walls and walls of this pattern. Entire. Walls! I can't even talk about the time I spent in miniscule touch ups after I tore all the tape off. It's too embarrassing and aggravating to think about.

The next time I get an itching to paint stripes on anything, I'm just going to pull out my eyelashes one-by-one instead. It will be far less painful and time consumming.

I'm taking a leave of absence from Pinterest.
At least for tonight.

Day Thirty Seven- From The List

Our Summer List dictates a lot of what we do. Well, most of the time. There is a small (large) percentage of time that I spend hiding from the children so I can read in peace.

When I wasn't hiding (or painting something) this week, we were doing this:

Donuts for breakfast. Um, hello. Amazing!

Jumpy-Bouncy House Place where you let them run, sweat and scream for an hour so that they're exhausted when you take them home. A mother's dream.

Bahama Mama snowcones. Who knew that you could add ice cream AND cream to crushed ice? Kinda genius.

Day Thirty Three- Summer Daze

Summer does weird things to a mother's brain. Because, my brain? I think it's crying. Either that, or it's whimpering a slow death. One way or the other, summertime sucks the life right out of you.

Wanna know my favorite summer activity? Taking my children to the store. I know it's going to be my own personal torture session before we even leave the driveway, but I do it anyway. It's like I'm so stupid I can't seem to learn from my past mistakes.

Just today I found myself in the isles of Target having a heated discussion with Child #2, because she felt it was bloody unfair that I wouldn't buy her a lamp. A lamp! I guess the one I bought her for Christmas is now worn out because she's turned it on all of 4 times. Good glory.

In the flower isle of Hobby Lobby, I turned around to find this:

The 14 year old with a cat tail sticking out of her hair. Freaking awesome.

Another delicious summer moment? Taking the Lamp Whiner to the podiatrist to have her 14 (14!!) warts shaved down and coated with acid.

As an added bonus, I get to re-tape and re-apply-acid-crap every. single. day. For 2 weeks. Oh, and guess what? Warts are contagious. Like, super-de-duper contagious. Apparently you can't trust a teenager to effectively clean their shower, because Child #3 now has warts as well.

The fantasticness just keeps on spreading.

Within these last few minutes, the 14 year old Wart Queen just texted me from her babysitting job. She is playing BananaGrams with the children she is in charge of, and she just taught them to spell 'Boobies'.

For the love, someone please make it stop.
My mother brain just officially shut down.

Day Twenty Seven- Vacation Advice

I've read a lot of "Traveling With Kids" ideas over the years. I'm sure you have too. But let's be real, no advice prepares you. None. Everything that happens at home? The fighting, the whining, the aversion to having siblings? All that goes with you. On vacation. It's just like being at home. Except, you're not.

I have now discovered the best kept vacation secret ever. I'm not kidding. Are you ready?....Take only one kid at a time. Bam! Genius.

Child #1 is at EFY (church youth camp) in Utah. Child #2 is at EFY in San Antonio. That leaves me with Child #3. The current favorite. So, of course we took her to Sea World.

I had NO idea that a theme park with only one child could be so easy. There was no arguing or wrestling to please everyone at once. Whatever this child wanted to do, it was done. I'm telling you, it was bliss. She wanted ice cream twice. Done. Souvenirs? Of course.

So, that's my advice. Pick a child, pick a vacation, and set out. It's relatively serene. And the best part? You actually end up feeling like the world's greatest parent. Perfect all around.