In the mornings, I watch her through the blinds. She has no idea that I stare at her and think of all the ages and moments she has been. This stage, this 13 year old torture, is a hard one to swallow. She pushes me to the brink in all her teenager ways. She only speaks to me if she has to. And when I try to talk to her? You would think she was in pain. She hides in her room, behind her phone, headphones plugged in. It's the way of things. A phase? Maybe. Maybe not. Perspective is hard to come by when you're knee deep in the thick of it.
So, I watch her. Every morning. She comes alive when she's with her friends. And I soak in her smile. I want to reach out and touch her joy. And my memories flood with her as a sweet, little girl. A best buddy. I was convinced she would always be that way. I was wrong.
The internet is flooded with advice for toddlers. Teenagers? Advice doesn't exist. At least, real advice. In the trenches kind of advice. Why? Because it's so dang hard. And who wants to talk about all that trouble. So, we stand on the sidelines of their life and we give it everything we've got. Literally, everything. We try and we love and we love some more. It's the only way. Teenagers can pull your soul right out. And every time, I give it right back to them. Every. Time.
Through the blinds I see the girl I adore. And I pour all my love right in her. I want it to surround her every moment of every day. I give it all with my mother's heart. Me to her. Always.
Let's give it all. Every day. Love and patience, and love some more. Sure, it's ugly. And hard. And constant. But deep within me lies a strength of love so strong to make the ugly and hard blur away. Let's hold on to that. Our soul deep love. Let it give us the strength we need as we muddle through the hard stuff.
And let's watch. Through the blinds, in the car, asleep on the couch. Nothing, and I mean nothing, can overcome a mother's love. We'll give it all we've got. Every time. Every day. In every way. Love just may be our road to recovery. No matter the outcome.
Love them through it.
It may just save us both.