Friday, December 21, 2012

Side Effects Of Holiday Stress

The holidays tend to level up the stress. Don't you think? Well, at least for mothers. I think we absorb all the craziness while the rest of the family kicks back and enjoys things. It's not right. Actually, it's probably ridiculous, but whatever.

All stress comes with side effects. I took inventory of mine this morning:

Child #1 spoke the forbidden words a few days ago, "I think I've changed my mind on what I want for Christmas." I swear to you, I almost full-body slammed the girl to the ground. I had to physically restrain myself. This was Clue #1 that I have reached beyond my normal level of crazy. I honestly pictured all the wrestling moves I've seen on TV in my mind and quickly figured out which ones I could use to get her to stop talking.


Two days ago, I went full-tilt crazy and bought the "miracle cleaning solution" from the boys who knocked on my door. Granted, it is a good cleaning product. I've used it before. But, you want to know why I really bought it? In the boy's sales pitch, he told me I looked like a model. I wrote a check immediately.


Yesterday, I was driving a car full of teenagers. I decided to play the 'What if...' game. So I asked them, "What would you really want to be doing tomorrow if it's the end of the world?" I was greeted with silence. Apparently, my question required deep thinking that they weren't willing to do.

So, I offered them my own Last-Day-On-Earth desire. I told them I would want to go out eating cake. A whole cake. Again, I was met with silence. Then one of the teenagers spoke quietly from the back, almost to himself, "What kind of a pathetic life would you have to have if all you want at the end of the world is to eat cake?"

Well said.

1 comment :

Eric and Amy said...

Lisa Foster ... you . are . hilarious! 'Nuf said. Merry Christmas!