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Wednesday, January 18, 2012

It's All In My Head


I haven't been motivated to write. I can't really put my finger on the reason for it. I just haven't been able to force myself to sit, type and use my brain all at the same time. It's weird. This has never happened to me before. Writing is just like breathing for me.

My sister is convinced that my mental health is unstable. Which, let's be honest, how far of a stretch is that thought? What if I'm just old and my brain is tired? Endless hours of arguing with a teenager on why-she-can't-have-a-car-when-she-turns-16 is utterly exhausting. How many ways can you say, "There is no more money. You've taken it all."? Maybe I need to learn that phrase in three other languages. Might help.

I have considered the possibility that there just hasn't been anything going on to write about. Would you believe it? Me neither. We deal in crazy around here. That's just something that never goes into remission.

About 2 weeks ago, I decided to say only 'nice and non-condescending' things to my sister for a full day. So, I just didn't talk to her. At all. She would call me on the phone and I'd just hang up. The next morning I called her to list off all the things I had refrained from saying the day before. It cleansed my soul.

Last weekend, child #2 made it into Region Choir. I was so excited for her, I started screaming. When I told her I was proud of her, she just looked at me weird and said, "Why?" Maybe she thinks my mental health is unstable too.

Todd switched the phone/internet/TV to a new company. It changed everything on the TV and turned off the phone. Totally serious. Haven't had a dial tone on my phone for days. Todd is all sorts of popular around here. But this morning, I found the silver lining to all this--the Principal can no longer have me on speed dial. Somehow, that brings me an enormous amount of peaceful comfort.

Here's to staying motivated. Time will tell.....



1 comment :

Nancy said...

January and February....bad months. Just boring. The excitement (and work) of Christmas are gone, so things just seem dull and strange after such a crazy holiday season. This is usually about the time I start thinking I should be a heavy drinker!
Glad you're back on the blog. Things just seem right again! Welcome back!