The Joy of Flour

Making cinnamon rolls with a helper.

Unattended

Today I walked into the bathroom at Target. Directly in front of me was a huge sign that read, "Do not leave your child unattended while using the diaper changing station."

Huh...seriously? At this precise moment I had 2 thoughts: first-what exactly has happened in the Targets across America that would result in these signs being posted, and second-now there's a thought even I haven't entertained.

From the millisecond that I picked up my kids from school, they have been fighting and whinning. I even have one who is crying because I don't love her enough....blah, blah, blah. While 2 of my offspring were fighting over the spoon to stir dinner, I happened to think about my Target sign. Right then and there, I thought about packing them all up, driving to Target, and strapping all 3 of them to that diaper changing station, and then leaving. There they would be--unattended. Then, I could grab a book, and sit in the lawn and garden area until they found me, because you know that they would definitely find me. They smell fear.

So, the next time your children are having a melt down, just mull over the idea of the diaper changing station.

Unattended.....I like it.

It Is Finished

Spring Break is finally over. I could feel a collective giddiness from the mothers as we all pulled up to the school and pushed them out, uh-I mean, dropped them off.

It feels like they were home for 348 days-sitting right next to me-talking loudly. I tried really hard to be a darling mom for those 348 days. Most of the time I succeeded. But on Friday, at 2:00 in the afternoon, my darlingness ran out. Over the course of many days, I had taken them to the park, the library, rollerskating, a movie, gymnastics, and they even had Nana sleepovers. I think I have a child hangover....but, I'll have a cupcake and a coke and all the world will be right again.

Easter Goodness

This is Nana. She sat with my girls as they colored their eggs and wrote on each egg before it was dyed. She did this every year when I was growing up. It was a nostalgic moment.







Easter morning, before church. Note: these girls DO NOT match and DO NOT have new Easter dresses!!!!!!! I have decided to try my darn hardest to save (a little) money. In pursuit of this goal, I opted out of Easter dresses. It almost killed me....no, seriously. Killed. I am a person who believes that the fine print in the Constitution states that it is your God given right to own a new Easter and Christmas dress, every year. This morning I woke up and didn't even want to go to church. What honestly is the point of going if you don't have a new dress and sandals. I dragged myself there. This little lesson has taught me this--saving money just isn't worth the sacrifice of a new outfit.

Other highlights of our day:

• while I was upstairs, Makell and Addie took all of the freshly dyed, hard boiled eggs and bowled with them on our wood floor in the entry. Yes, that's right--bowled! They rolled them hard enough until they hit the front door.
• The choir sang a couple of songs during sacrament meeting. At the finish of the third song I hear Makell loudly exclaim, "Whew!"
• I was teaching primary and asking the kids some questions. I asked them what Jesus was praying for in the Garden. Makell yells out, "dimes". Yup, that's right, He was praying for money. So well taught, that child. A few teachers gave me concerned looks.....wasn't the first time. And hey, what can they expect from a child that doesn't have a new Easter dress!
  

How does that Easter Bunny know to give these girls color coordinated swimsuits?! That Easter Bunny is a genius....but, she didn't ever think that they would slip them on after church-with their boots-and play outside. Straight classy.

Silence Is Golden-But Around Here, It's Rare

The other night, Makell got on the computer, typed up this sweet message, printed it, and then taped it on her shirt. She wore it all night long.

If this kind of thing actually worked, I would plaster my body with posterboards that read, FLUSH THE TOILET!!!!!!!!!!!!

Texans Love Jesus

OK--how fantastic are these mints!! Scripture Mints people! 'Fish shaped mints--Reaching The World One Piece At A Time'. And, you will never guess where I found them...the Hobby Lobby. Scripture Mints at the checkout counter at a craft store! Oh-my-gosh Texas is fantastic.

Since arriving in this state, I have heard more about how much Jesus loves me than I ever did in Utah. When I pay my toll at the tollbooth, the lovely lady says to me, "may the Lord bless your day"--amen, and I hope he helps me not to give these kids away to the car behind me.

Within the first couple of weeks that we were here, I had to register my van at the DMV. It is located in the same building that you take care of minor incidents with the law (there was quite a long line at this office). While I was waiting my turn, a woman who obviously had just finished taking care of her minor incident, was overcome with joy in the decision. She started jumping up and down and screaming--yes, screaming--"Thank you Jesus!!" I starred and gawked. Amazing. No one else seemed to find this behavior unusual. No one else starred with their mouth open like I did. The woman just kept thanking Jesus. She jumped and hollered all the way down the hall and out the doors.

Since then, I have thought about using this proclamation myself. The other day I found a pair of flip flops at Target on clearance for $1.98. What joy. I thought about thanking Jesus outloud with sincere emphasis, but decided against it. Instead, I just opened my scripture mints and whispered, "God bless Texas".

Happy Birthday Wallstreet

Today is my brother's birthday. He works for Goldman Sachs. Wallstreet kinda stuff. I'm not quite sure what he does, but it's stressful and he works a lot--huh, sounds like my job.

I was thinking about my brother this morning, all the fond memories we have shared. I recalled a time when I was about 12 and he was 9. I was babysitting my siblings. He was soooo mad at me that he chased me through the family room and down the kitchen. He shoved me against the kitchen wall and yelled "You are not the boss of me!!"......Ah, such sweet memories--and, he was completely out of line, because I am not at all bossy.

Last summer, I came to the conclusion that I wanted to be my brother when I grow up. He doesn't care what other people think, he just does his own thing. He is an amazing dad. He looks important. I just look like I'm afraid of my kids. He always has money in his pockets. I'm serious. I think if I asked him for $75 in the middle of the night, he'd pull it right out of his underwear.

I think that both my brothers find me incredibly annoying, but I miss them. A lot.
Happy Birthday Tyler. I truly love you.

Makell's Proclamation For The Day

"Hey! My armpits smell like chilli!"

Short Order Cooks

These are the waitresses for today. They took my breakfast order, labeled it with a large piece of blue tape and then set it out on the table. They started this ritual several months ago while we were living at my parents. They started off by using Nana's aprons--until Nana bought them these hot little numbers for Christmas. Makell is wearing sunglasses (maybe it's her version of a hairnet) and I have no idea why Addie needs so many pens in her pocket (I think there is 8 or 9).



As ordered...here is my breakfast. Doesn't everyone start the Sabbath Day with a Coke? If you don't, you have never sat through church with my kids. (I have considered taking a shot of hard liquor just before walking into church.)

I Have Heard The Cries Of My People

After incessant begging and pleading...I have given in. I commence my blog so that I can keep everyone updated on the dysfunction that we call a home and to subdue my sister.
There are many reasons I have avoided starting a blog--most of which, boils down to the fact that once I put my life in print, it just gives out hard and concrete evidence that this family should be a reality show. While I don't really think we are anything all that special, I have had a number of people mention to me, "when you tell us stories about what your kids do, it just makes us realize that our lives are pretty good."
So...let it begin. I give this fair warning--read at your own risk. I don't mince words, I just give the cold, hard facts. Some seem to find this trait alarming, some seem to be in awe that I would actually say what they, themselves are thinking. As I begin this blog, the most important fact that must be known is this--I really love this Foster Circus. No matter what I say or how I rant and rave, I adore them. You may want to make a note of this fact, because I am generally too busy with my ranting and raving to mention that I am grateful for this offspring of mine.
On with the show....