A Questionnaire

I rarely go upstairs. I usually wait until there's a dire need that can't be avoided. Because the offspring live up there. And by "live", I mean "burrow in and hibernate". I fear some form of Hepatitis every time I venture up the stairs.

So, imagine my surprise when I walked into Child #1's room and found this:

What on earth is she doing with the empty water bottles? Is she creating a recycling center? Right there on her dresser? Maybe a landfill? What is this situation? Because that deflated helium balloon at the top of the picture, has been there for 3 years. Literally. 3 years. Oh, and you can barely see the bottom drawer. It stays open. Like, always. I don't even think it's capable of closing. And snuggled in between this mess is a Febreeze bottle. Because, duh?

I asked this Child about the bottle-gate. Her reply? "I empty one and get a new one." That's it. There is no more. Believe me, I waited for it. So, I explained, in my slow voice, that she's clearly missing a step. After you finish a bottle, YOU THROW IT AWAY, before getting another one. I don't even think she heard me. I might as well talk to myself. Oh wait, I already do.

If you're in need to some empty water bottles, just holler. I've got you covered. And you haven't even seen the floor of Child #2's room. Covered. That's all I'm gonna say.