A Lesson From John Wayne

I grew up with a Dad who spoke of John Wayne as royalty. There was reverence in the air when the western star was the topic. Any John Wayne movie or Ben Hur rolled on a constant stream in our house. Throw in a serious amount of sports and some Rambo movies, and that was my childhood. Might explain why I'm slightly unhinged.

I tend to have a soft spot for John Wayne. Not because I like him, but solely because my Dad did. As a kid, I couldn't stand when westerns played on the TV. But now my ears tend to perk up when the movie star is mentioned. It's like I can't help it, it's just ingrained into my DNA.

So, imagine my surprise when I stumbled onto a John Wayne quote the other day that pretty much sums up my life. I may have even gasped. I believe my dad was probably looking over my shoulder when I read it and silently said, "I told you so."

You know how some lessons are so painful, you can't speak of them until the dust has settled? Mr. Wayne taught me that kind of lesson. They're the kind I really don't like.

Here goes:

Almost 2 months ago, before the Homecoming dance, we were on a hunt for a dress. A modest one. You can't imagine how difficult that is to find. It's ridiculous.

I found a website that offered lots of different dresses, all with great prices. We ordered 2 with the thought we would return whichever one Sam didn't like. I paid $30 for 5-day shipping.

5 days came and went. No dresses.
I log on to the website and notice that these dresses won't even arrive until AFTER the date of the Homecoming dance. I'm irritated and I cancel the dress order.

I spend 4 solid days in a mad dash to find a new dress. By the time Sam is ready for the dance, I want to scratch my eyes out and cry. But alas, she went and had "an OK time".

The FedEx man shows up at my door the next day with a box containing the 2 dresses I ordered online. I tell the man to keep the box because I canceled my order. He smiles and drives away taking the dresses with him.

Are you still with me? Nice story. This is where it gets interesting...

FedEx then starts calling The Husband explaining that the dress company won't take the order back. The Husband then proceeds to spend days, hours, excruciating minutes talking back and forth between our bank, FedEx and the stupid dress company.

Days pass. We still don't have anything to show for the $300 we spent on dresses.

We ponder.

We decide that we might as well keep the dresses if the company refuses to return them. Sam can eventually wear them. The Husband calls FedEx and tells them he will come pick up the package.

The. Very. Next. Day. The Husband drives all the way to Canada (almost, but not quite) to the FedEx office to pick up the $300 worth of dresses. Woman at the desk tells him he can't have the package. "Why?" he asks. She responds, "We destroyed the package yesterday at 4:30 pm."

Did you catch that? De-stroyed! Todd was speechless.

So, here's the lesson from John Wayne. Are you ready?
"Life's tough. Even tougher if you're stupid."

Well said.