"Of The Age"

Those 3 words have started following me. I can't seem to escape them. I'm now "of the age" to get yearly mammograms (which is a difficult thing for a girl who can still wear a training bra). My gynecologist told me I'm also "of the age" to start seriously considering my high risk for osteoporosis. I thought he was kidding at first. Nope. He wasn't.

I have wrinkles in weird places and I've noticed my underarms jiggle when I wave to my kids at the bus stop. Body parts that jiggle are never a good sign. What if it spreads? The jiggleness? Maybe it's like a virus that starts growing when you turn 40. It starts on your arms and spreads to the rest of your body. What if I try to wave at my kids in ten years from now, and my whole body jiggles? I guess I would still be "of the age", so I won't be surprised.

I think there should be some kind of an official list made. If everyone knew what was coming when you're "of the age", it might not be so shocking. At least you would know well in advance that you'll pee your pants if you attempt to jump on a trampoline. That kind of stuff deserves fair warning. Just sayin'.

I have yet to find a positive side to being "of the age". Maybe there isn't one to be found. Or maybe I have found it, but now I'm "of the age" and I already forgot it. Somehow, that explanation makes a whole lot of sense.