Grace, Reading, And The Random Inbetween

If I could choose the way to spend my time, I would read. All day, every day. I would bake a dessert here and there, but other than that, I would read. Years ago, I didn't particularly like reading, I didn't have the patience for it. But now I've come to the point in my life that I really don't care about all the things I "should" be doing. Thus, books have taken hold. I've turned into my mother. I can't decide what I think about that.

Reading has become my avenue for finding Grace. Actually, I think it's probably the only way to find it. We have to search for it in words and then let them sink deep and change our hearts. The reading is easy. The changing and believing? Not so much.

My favorite blogger has written a book about Grace. It's been out for some time and I've wanted it, but haven't deemed myself worthy of the $11 required to buy it. Crazy thinking, I know. Child #1 needs new running shoes almost every other month. Somehow I don't think twice about buying $110 shoes. But when it comes to my own wishes, I can't seem to justify their fulfillment. That's probably only one of the reasons I need Grace and this book, so I simply begged my mom to buy it for me.

If you are on your own quest for Grace, read this book. In fact, read her blog. Every day. If her words could take on physical form, I would pour them all into my tub and soak them into my skin. Go on, read. You'll see.

***

Would it shock you to know that I need a parenting book? More than likely, I need several. This one has been sitting in plain view for about a week. I don't dare crack it open. Why? What if it tells me I've been doing it wrong for all these years? Or, what if I've been doing it right, and it still doesn't make a difference? I generally avoid these types of books, they give me guilt. I hate guilt.

Child #3 noticed the book the other day and picked it up. She looked at me and asked, "So, are you going to learn to do magic?" I told her that if I knew magic, I would have made myself invisible years ago.

***

My kids are addicted to the Super Nanny. They watch endless episodes on Saturdays. Drives me crazy. Todd finally gave an ultimatum that they weren't allowed to watch until they all agreed to actually take Nanny's advice and USE IT. They immediately turned off the TV. Maybe this is why I need more parenting books.

***

Every now and then, I worry that my hair looks like a mushroom. Todd and Child #1 have caught wind of my anxiety. They have started calling me "Shroom Head". Love knows no bounds around here. Get in line if you need a little self esteem.

***

Look for a little Grace this week. Oh, and how about a good dose of magic? Might just be the perfect combination.