Resolutions

Child #2 had a particularly stellar day yesterday. Her moods tend to shift with the winds, so I never know what's going to happen from one moment to the next. While sitting next to her in church, I decided to lean over and whisper a question (I'm kinda stupid like that).

"Kellie, do you like me?" She immediately snapped her head in my direction with a sour look on her face. She stared at me for a minute and then replied, "Um....no". Totally super awesome. The crazy part is, her answer didn't surprise me. Why I even asked it in the first place is beyond me.

This special bonding moment lead me to start thinking about new year's resolutions. Normally I never make any. But this year, I just might. Here's what I've come up with so far. Keep in mind that these are goals I hope to righteously help my family achieve, all while speaking in my soft, loving mother voice:

• Lie to your mother. If ever, and I mean ever, asked "Do you like me?", lie. Tell your mom you not only like her, but you love her. Even if you don't mean it. Oh, and when you feel the urge to say, "You never, ever listen to me!!", keep that to yourself.
• Learn how to replace the toilet paper roll.
• When walking up the stairs, instead of stepping over the pile of YOUR OWN clothes that are sitting there, actually pick them up and take them with you.
• Say 'thank you' to your parents at least once a month. Yes, I know this is a pipe dream, but wouldn't it be nice to hear? I think those words might actually burn my kids lips if said aloud.
• My wallet does not contain your money. It's my money. A completely new and bizarre concept.
• For the love of all that's holy, please stop talking after 8:00 pm.

It's just a rough draft, but I think I've really got a good start. Don't you think?