Really?

Would you think the universe was conspiring against you if your child had to come home because she threw up in class?

No?

Well, what if it was the First. Day. Back. After. Spring. Life-Sucking. Break? What about then?

Still don't have an answer?

What if you got your child situated in front of the TV in a quarantine zone and then she looked up at you and said, "I was kindof faking."?

Got an answer now?

Oh, and the best part-- the school doesn't know she was pretend barfing "because I drank a ton of water, mom". So I still have to keep her home another day.

Kill me. Kill me now.