You Can't Pay For This Kind Of Show

There is a WalMart down and around the bend from me that I enter for only one of two reasons. One- I'm in a pinch for time and it's my ONLY option. Two- I'm depressed and I need to be amongst a group of people that make me feel like my life is a downright fairytale. Today was a combination of the two.

This particular WalMart makes me feel like I've stepped into the heart of crazy town. I honestly don't know where these people live their everyday lives, but they all congregate and shop together. This afternoon was extra special. There must have been somethin' in the air. My shopping trip lasted all of 14.8 minutes. You won't believe what I saw. I'm still stunned. My eyes stared so much at my surroundings, they started to burn.

At the customer service line, I encountered a man returning a foam mattress. Queen size. After sleeping on said mattress for a couple of weeks, he decided the middle section hadn't fluffed out enough. He simply folded it all up and strapped a bungee cord around it. He then shoved it into a shopping cart. He carried the empty box along side the cart.

I saw a Mexican cowboy. He was sporting wranglers and a real leather vest. No lie. Afterward, I did a double take at the girl wearing a tank top in order to show off her poinsettia tattoo. Who gets a poinsettia tattoo!?

I couldn't help but stare at the man wearing denim overalls with a bandanna hanging out of his back pocket. I'm not positive, but I'm fairly certain he was getting a Money Gram to cover the supplies for his moonshine.

My head was spinning a bit at this point, and I even started to get the giggles. I speedy quick grabbed the two items I needed and headed to checkout. Just as I was about to step out the doors, I heard a woman exclaim, "Man, I should have worn my elastic waist pants!" I closed my eyes and kept on walking.