I Spy

I've started collecting all the 'items' my kids leave in their pockets come laundry day. I am not a pocket-checker. I refuse. So, most of the time, I am scooping stuff out of the dryer. There are also rare moments where the sticks of gum fall out on their own, just as I'm ready to drop the pants in the wash.

This pile has been sitting on my dryer for 2 months. Obviously our household is overflowing with hair bands, because these haven't even been missed. Do you see the plastic grape (looks like a marble)? It's from Hobby Lobby. My kids feel the need to snatch them off the grape bunches. Then I find them in the wash. It's ridiculous.

Oh, and that ipod? That's Addie's. It's been washed. Thoroughly. She told me the other day that she is saving her money for...can you guess?.....an ipod. Why she didn't take care of the one she already had is beyond me.

***

Every morning, I stand on the porch as the kids get on the bus. And every morning, I am greeted with this view:

Not 1, but 2! portable potties. And guess what? Even when the construction is done and cleaned up, the potties remain. Aren't they pretty? My favorite is the bright green one in the far distance. It has the word, 'Jackpot' on it's side.

Wanna know something even better than having 2 potties by your front lawn? I have a child who has used one. Not even kidding.

***

This is the best view of all-- Sam without braces. Pretty teeth for the minimal cost of a small, used car. I told her it's too bad she can't drive her new teeth to school.

If Only I Could Reach

Grief is not something I speak much about anymore. It's one of those topics that tends to drag on for those who don't understand it the way you do. Over the last year, I've found a way to just hold it inside. It's bound and wrapped tight. Most of the time, grief obeys and stays put. But there are other times where she unravels. Putting her back in her tight shell takes all my effort.

This week has marked 4th year I've had to let my dad live in heaven. I rather he be here. This very spot. There isn't much I wouldn't trade to have him come for dinner or call on the phone. But, life doesn't work like that. Life never makes trades, it only makes you keep going no matter the height of the hurdles.

I used to have a lot of anger. It was grief's companion. But anger has melted away and drained out my pores. Grief is all that remains. After 4 years, she has seeped deep down into my skin and settled there to stay. There are times I forget her and grief keeps quiet. But not for long. She calls and whispers and reminds me of how I thought life was supposed to turn out.

So, this week I have dreamed of reaching. I wish to reach out into the air and grab that place he has gone and pull it down toward me. Somehow I'm convinced that a heavenly glimpse will coat the grief and muffle her sound. But no matter how hard I try, my reach falls short.

So, instead of reaching upward, I shall reach inward. I shall look at memories and hear his voice and maybe listen to him tell a joke. I think that will make grief smile. Just for today.

In The Car Today

It was raining this morning, so I drove her to the bus stop (2 houses down!). We sat together and waited for the bus. She did most of the talking:

"Hey, mom. What would you do if you were a raindrop?"
"I don't know. What would you do?"
a moment to contemplate...."I'd plop."

***

"Hey, mom. Guess what? I've never peed at school."
"What? You mean, you've never used the restroom at school? Ever?"
"Nope. Never. I can just hold it a long, long time."

***

"Mom, I think we should buy Emmy (my sister) a Range Rover."
"Oh, really? How will we pay for it?"
"We can use my money and your credit card."

***

Life with this girl is never dull or boring :)

I Can't Stop Giggling

They trickled out the door this morning. One by one. My sanity seeped back in as they went. This year, there is a Foster in every age school. I wonder if our district has been notified.

The high schooler left before the sun was up. The elementary child left an hour later and the junior higher left 45 minutes after that. I started singing.

The first day of school always brings out my 'best mom, like, ever' flair. So, I made them a simple after school snack. Just a little something to celebrate.

I know, I know. I should have doubled it.

The Days Drag Long

The final week of summer is just like the final week of pregnancy. Grueling. Torturous. Shall we add slow and bloated?

I reached exhaustion this week. Not a physical exhaustion, but the mom kind. The kind of tired that reaches deep and sucks you dry. The kind that leaves you wanting to cry from the moment you open your eyes in the morning.

The kids played my exhaustion to their advantage. We went to the pool. It's been my goal NOT to put on my swimsuit this summer. But, with temperatures at 105, sacrifices have to be made.

This summer, Sam and her friend invented a method of playing UNO with every. single. card. they could find in my house. Total count- 156. It's fascinating to watch.

At one of my really weak moments, I let every loose to do whatever they wanted, "Just as long as you leave me alone!"

Somehow I should have guessed that paint would be involved. Why is it always paint around here? Why can't they quietly sit with a coloring book?

Even when they started painting their hands, I let them continue. I simply took a picture and sent them on their way. Mom exhaustion can do that to you.

In between my visions of scratching my eyes out, I started to feel the 'crazy school schedule' pressure. I know you feel it too. The homework, carpooling, lessons, feeding people, getting people out the door on time craziness. I've felt the pressure building all week. School life is so very different than summer life. Good thing the backpacks are lined up and ready to go. Freedom arrives in 11 hours.

We Begin Again

It's that time of year again. The time where I wonder how I ever gave birth to an athlete.

She now uses big words like, 'distance' and 'spikes' and 'healthy eating'. She might as well be speaking a foreign language.

She ran up hills, through bushes and in 102 degree heat. 2 miles in 14 minutes, somethin' seconds. My mind goes fuzzy just watching her. And as she crosses the finish line, Todd turns to me and states for the 4th time today, "Why, oh why, didn't she pick an indoor sport?"

Running season is off to a heated start.

Quote Of The Day

"Hey. I just ate my booger, and it tastes like mint!"

I'm not even going to tell you which child said it. And yes, I'm raising all girls. It's moments like this that make me wonder.