I'm a loser. Its official. I'm just letting you know, what you already knew....
My kids are out of control, and I've come to believe that it's a result of their parenting. It's the only answer. I think its because I yell too much....and let them eat cake batter.
A friend met us for dinner last night. Adam. He and his family used to live across the street from us in Draper. We miss them. So, Adam is in town for work and comes to our house and then we all journey out for Texas barbeque. Easy enough plan, should be a fun and enjoyable evening.
The first thing my kids say to Adam is, "hey, you have gray hair". He smiles and laughs. He knows what these girls are like, I think it's all coming back to him. We talk for a little bit and then drive to the restaurant....in one car. Oh yes, nothing screams, 'we're so glad to see you', like riding in a dirty van with 3 girls that are fighting over where to sit.
At the restaurant, the fighting continues. We are still fighting over where to sit. Addie and Makell have decided they want to sit on booster seats when they are really too big to sit in them. They keep holding the seats in their hands and trying to spin them in the air. Then Addie starts yelling at Todd that she didn't want Sprite to drink and Makell is farting and smiling. After I tell Adam 382 times that I'm sorry, he just keeps smiling and silently laughing.
By now, Makell and Addie have crawled under the table to get out of the booth. They have ventured over to the kiddie play section. I made the mistake of letting my guard down. I look over and Makell has figured out how to stand on the rim of the long chalkboard that is mounted to the wall. She is walking on the rim (you know, the piece of wood where you set the chalk!) and she is rubbing her entire body across the chalkboard so that she is completely covered in chalk dust. She is giggling so hard that she can't hear me yelling at her.
The evening just keeps moving along with this kind of joy....somewhere in there Makell and Addie started playing tag and throwing chalk at each other--long distance.
Once we finally get home, I tell everyone to get into the bathtub. No one listens. They just stand there and stare at me like I'm an idiot--which I am, because I actually continue to talk to these 3 people who don't listen to one word that comes out of my mouth.
Everthing came to a full crescendo when Addie kept hanging on Adam's legs, Makell was telling us how she called the mean boys on the bus 'rotten bananas', and Sam started singing a solo.
So...just in case anyone was thinking about going to dinner with us...you better pray about it. And even then, you better take a nap and drink some hard liquor before heading out.
I should start selling tickets.
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